Vote for me!

[mowgli]

Seems like any clown can get into parliament these days. So I ask you, why not me

Here's my pledge card so far;

Roading
Transit New Zealand will be directed to stop removing the curvy bits out of our favourite roads. All road straightening will cease and new twisties will be installed.

Congestion
Motorbikes are the answer. All bus lanes and clearways will be re-designated "motorcycle only lanes". Lane splitting will be legal and will be taught at BHS.

Police Quotas
Police will be made to fess up and admit that they do have infringement quotas. I support quotas as a sensible way of focussing police attention on the real dangers on our roads. Police will score bonuses for pulling over the following: slow drivers +10, pricks that run red lights +10 and cattle trucks +10. There will also be penalties for police who pull over the following: bikers -1000.

Vehicle Licensing
Bikers are an honest lot (as will be evidenced by the low number being pulled over by police) and will be trusted to maintain their steeds in a roadworthy state without regulatory checks. After all, it's your arse ends up on the tarmac if you don't. No more thievery under the guise of WOF or Rego.

Fuel Pricing
Filling up bikes will be free. Questions?

ACC Levies
In an acknowledgement that dumb cages are the single biggest threat to us respectable bikers, the cost of biker ACC levies will be added to the cage rego. Note to all bikers with cages: ditch the cage.

Personal Liability
I'll pass a law that indemnifies bikers from everything so long as it involved a bike and they skite about it on a public Internet forum. In any incident where a cage is involved, the cage will be found at fault. Note to all bikers with cages: see note under ACC Levies.

Super Spidey Sensor
All bikes will be required to have fitted a super secret device designed by Q that detects hazards on the road ahead and warns the rider in plenty of time to avoid the hazard. The device will be free to bikers paid for out of petrol excise tax. In my second term Q has promised an even better device that will maintain an inpenetrable force field around the bike. With it installed bikers will be able to deal with hazards using two user friendly modes: "skillfully dodge" and "destroy with extreme predjudice". Mine will be hardwired to the latter.

So come join the revolution. Vote for me and enjoy the freedom of motorcycling the way it was meant to be.

[Bonez]

Who's gonna pick ya bike up when you prang it due to sun spot activity?

[mowgli]

Who's gonna pick ya bike up when you prang it due to sun spot activity?

Ahhh sun spots, good point. We'll get Q to build that into the super spidey sensor.

[Bonez]

Ahhh sun spots, good point. We'll get Q to build that into the super spidey sensor.

And what about the intergalactic aliens with their super duper bike beams? Are they subject to ACC?

[PirateJafa]

I suggest also replacing all WRBs with bouncey castles, and replacing all cop cars with Toyota Hiaces.

Then make the penalty for being pulled over instant suspension, and a boot to the head. Because by god they would have earned it.

[Luckylegs]

Seems like any clown can get into parliament these days. So I ask you, why not me

No I agree, you'd be perfect, afterall, like any good politician, you felt you should be exempt from the laws of the land....

[yod]

free coffee at wild bean cafes for all bikers?

[TOTO]

I donno about the rest of you but i'm voting for him !

[TOTO]

free coffee at wild bean cafes for all bikers?

and free lap dances at showgirls is on my wishlist...

[nallac]

you've got my vote,
just need to add that posted speed limits no longer apply to
motorcyclists.


oh and the free lap dances needs to be added to....

[ManDownUnder]

oh and the free lap dances needs to be added to....

hmmmm - good point... just don't tell the wife... or the girlfriend...

[nallac]

hmmmm - good point... just don't tell the wife... or the girlfriend...

i hope neither of them find out

[Mikkel]

So what are your thoughts on global warming? Any suggestions as how to avoid situations like the current energy crisis with low water-levels for the hydroplants? Any thoughts on subsidising house insulation schemes?

Other than that it seems pretty good.

[nallac]

So what are your thoughts on global warming? Any suggestions as how to avoid situations like the current energy crisis with low water-levels for the hydroplants? Any thoughts on subsidising house insulation schemes?

Other than that it seems pretty good.

ummmmmmmmmmm,
free gas for bikes cuts down on pollution less cars on the road

will need to add free road gear for riders + free gas = no one home = lower heating costs= happy planet.

[Mr Merde]

Seems like any clown can get into parliament these days. So I ask you, why not me

Here's my pledge card so far;

........

So come join the revolution. Vote for me and enjoy the freedom of motorcycling the way it was meant to be.

Ahem,

I have perused the above document and can in no part of it find mention of your personal address.

Surely you are now in contravention of the "Electorial Finance Bill" and the moderators of this site should be informed of this blatant flaunting of the above mentioned bill.