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Thread: Pensioner hoons!

  1. #1
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    Pensioner hoons!

    Just a quickie as the actress said to the Bishop.

    I just followed a car with it's hazard lights on and as it happens we pulled up alongside each other at the lights. Grandma and Grandpa were sat there looking like they ran out of things to say to each other 65 years ago,so I waved to get there attention. "Excuse me you've got your hazards on, I say you've got your fourways on dear".

    So they both start looking round the dash for signs of something amiss, she even looked in the glovebox incase that was the problem. They both looked back at me shrugging their eyes (not easy to do).

    Their clearly deaf as, so I'm desperately trying to remember the international hand signal for your hazard warning lights are on, when the old bugger floors it straight through a red light on the busiest junction in New Plymouth. Straight across six lanes of traffic.Theres a screeching of tyres tootin of horns,muffled screams and I watched as he tootled off up the road,still signaling both ways completely oblivious of the mayhem he'd left in his wake.

    I can just hear the conversation at the bowls club,Ere Ethel there was a nasty man at the lights the other day gesturing at our glovebox, well I didn't like the look of him so we drove off.

    These people are on our roads,coming to a town near you, be very afraid and be very careful.
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    Oh bugger

  2. #2
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    You want to see them after they leave the pissden,I mean bowling club.
    Never too old to Rock n Roll.
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  3. #3
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    Geez - the old man hasn't got back in his car again - I'd better check!
    “- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

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    Probably your accent...deaf old c**ts aren't allowed to drive in this country.
    Titter
    Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by SPman View Post
    Geez - the old man hasn't got back in his car again - I'd better check!
    Hahaha, I'll describe him so you know if it's your old man.

    He was old and wrinkly, does that sound like him?
    Oh bugger

  6. #6
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    I love them especially in the supermarkets ...there is nothing like having a 5" nothing granny look at you suspiciously as you reach for the KY lube!

    So of course, I turned to her, and said: just being responsible and having safe sex, you know! The look on her face was priceless.

    She liked me a whole lot better on the next aisle though, as I grabbed her an item she couldn't reach...

    *disclaimer: no grannies were harmed in the making of this funny event*
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by martybabe View Post
    Hahaha, I'll describe him so you know if it's your old man.

    He was old and wrinkly, does that sound like him?
    That sounds like me but I wasn't up your way today.
    Never too old to Rock n Roll.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I've got miserly tourettes and I don't give a fuck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 007XX View Post
    She liked me a whole lot better on the next aisle though, as I grabbed her an item she couldn't reach...
    LOL... rechargeable batteries by any chance???
    $2,000 cash if you find a buyer for my house, kumeuhouseforsale@straightshooters.co.nz for details

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    LOL... rechargeable batteries by any chance???
    No the large economy size box of condoms.
    Never too old to Rock n Roll.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    I've got miserly tourettes and I don't give a fuck.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManDownUnder View Post
    LOL... rechargeable batteries by any chance???
    Nah...raw sugar. I'm sure she was already sorted on batteries

    I love the older generation, they're really cool. Some of the old boys have some really wicked sense of humour
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by MIXONE View Post
    You want to see them after they leave the pissden,I mean bowling club.
    No really I don't,if their like that sober what they gonna be like with a couple o sherrys in em.

    Quote Originally Posted by MSTRS View Post
    Probably your accent...deaf old c**ts aren't allowed to drive in this country.
    Titter
    My accent is virtually undetectable to the naked ear. No really you've got a point no Fugger understands me.

    Quote Originally Posted by 007XX View Post
    :ROFL:

    I love them especially in the supermarkets ...there is nothing like having a 5" nothing granny look at you suspiciously as you reach for the KY lube! :killing me

    So of course, I turned to her, and said: just being responsible and having safe sex, you know! The look on her face was priceless.

    She liked me a whole lot better on the next aisle though, as I grabbed her an item she couldn't reach...

    *disclaimer: no grannies were harmed in the making of this funny event*
    How the the fark do you squeeze ky jelly into a chat about pensioners driving habits, your a goddamn sexual wordsmith genius.
    Oh bugger

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by martybabe View Post
    How the the fark do you squeeze ky jelly into a chat about pensioners driving habits, your a goddamn sexual wordsmith genius.
    *bows gracefully*

    It's a gift

    True story though, I promise! Maybe it's got something to do with being French? Fucked if I know...
    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf View Post
    Time to cut out the "holier/more enlightened than thou" bullshit and the "slut" comments and let people live honestly how they like providing they're not harming themselves or others in the process.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by martybabe View Post
    Hahaha, I'll describe him so you know if it's your old man.

    He was old and wrinkly, does that sound like him?
    Oh gawd...that's my dad!
    Diarrhoea is hereditary - it runs in your jeans

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    Quote Originally Posted by 007XX View Post
    Nah...raw sugar. I'm sure she was already sorted on batteries

    I love the older generation, they're really cool. Some of the old boys have some really wicked sense of humour
    Yep. They were all young once ... unlikely as it sometimes seems.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by yungatart View Post
    Oh gawd...that's my dad!
    Will ya please come and get him,he scares the shit outta me.He won't have got far,he only speeds through red lights.
    Oh bugger

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