I woke up today having turned 44, and what’s just about the best present in the world you might ask, well for me it’s a drive in a Tank
Joni had originally booked me for driving three different vehicles, the Ferret, Saracen and APC, but I asked nicely and she changed it to just the Tank, strangely enough when she rang to change the booking they said “we get that happening a bit”
Tanksforeverything have a choice of two, both Main Battle tanks and from opposing side and the same era, a Centurion and a T55
Diesel Pig having already been out there some time ago had managed to break the Centurion (fuck he’s hard on gear)so when I heard they had a T55 (Boris) turning up I decided that was the one for me
So 2pm I rock up and meet Matt who will take me through it, he starts with a tour of all the vehicles
First up is the Ferret and he takes me through the history from when they were built, who used them and you’re actively encouraged to climb in and over them and see what they’re like
Next in line is the Haglund running a Ford V6 last seen in a Capri and which you normally see driving round Antarctic wilderness, I didn’t realise it is also used by the Military with an armoured version and works just as well in sand as it does in snow even being deployed in Iraq
Onto the Saracen, with a 8 ton weight and a straight eight motor it’s certainly not known for its fuel economy, later versions apparently were up armoured but kept the same motor and got even worse
Then it’s the APC, which with an Auto box is the easiest to drive and he explains the different variants and countries that used them as they have 2 of them parked there
Next up it’s the Centurion 50 odd tonnes of main battle tank, ex Australian Army and a Vietnam veteran, running 27 litre Rolls-Royce V12 engine producing 650bhp, he reckons it’s about 1mpg at best, climbing inside you can soon see that it’s more advantageous to be of a smaller build, he runs through the controls and I have a play with the manual turret and gun elevation, apparently if the power traverse breaks down the manual control take about 120 revolutions by hand to rotate the turret
Slotting into the drivers compartment it’s a “comfy” fit, and when I remark on it he says “wait until you hop in the Russian one”, the floor in the Centurion doesn’t rotate with the turret so you’d have to be quick on your toes if you’re the loader, and having felt the weight of the AP warhead reasonably strong as well
Next and last it’s “Boris” the T55AM2, once used by the Hungarian army and having an upgrade in the 1980s it’s actually more modern than the Centurion, the Centurion can supposedly drop a shell down a rabbit hole at 1.5km the T55 can do the same trick at 2km
The controls to rotate and elevate the gun are also far nicer and simpler to use, and the Turret floor rotates although there’s still plenty of objects to maim yourself on if you’re not careful
Space considerations certainly weren’t a factor in construction as the T55 is a bit smaller at 42 tonnes and there is physically less room inside, at just under 1.8m tall I wouldn’t want to be any taller or bigger built, and it’s a bit of a squeeze to get in the driver compartment, fat bastards need not apply
He runs through the controls, clutch, brake, throttle just like a car, a supposedly synchromesh gearbox and two levers to steer, pulling them back ½ way disengages a clutch and it’ll turn to whatever side lever you’ve pulled or pulling it back even further brakes and it’ll turn faster or both back ½ way it drops ½ a gear
He fires it up and it sounds like it’s about to shit itself any second, think of concrete mixer full of rocks and you’ll get the idea
Engaging 2nd and letting out the clutch and we’re on the move, he’s sitting on the outside yelling instructions, as I hit the first little hump I slot both levers back and gas it up, pushing them both forward as we come over the crest and it lurches forward at a faster rate, I’m being careful not to over rev it as the rev counter isn’t working
I work my way around the course gently working the levers to turn left and right and pulling both back ½ way to gear it down as we hit the humps, around the big right hander and getting adventurous I go for 3rd gear having been told earlier it’s a bastard to change it slots through surprisingly easy and we pick up speed
We come around to finish the course (all too soon it seems) and he directs me where to park and then gets me to back it up a bit as that’s a gear I haven’t used yet
It was FUCKING AWESOME, the only way it could be any cooler is if the guns worked and although it really doesn’t seem like much driving time for your money it was well worth it, so I’d have to say a very special thanks to the Lovely Joni for organising it for me, she couldn’t have picked a better present, fuck knows how she’ll top this one next year
Originally Posted by scracha
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