Wasted lives ?

[yungatart]

I am one of those! Yep - ruined my life by having my first baby too young (so some would say). She is 30 and I am now 48. I wouldn't reccommend it to all and sundry but it worked fine for me. I fitted education and my career around my kids while they were young, now the youngest is 15, going on 25, we have a lot of fun, riding, going to concerts, pub gigs and parties together. He fills the house up with his friends and various rock bands that he is in and I am not so old that I can't cope, and not so young that I want to join in with them. I have a great relationship with my kids - we have been through some shit and come out the other side still smiling and smellling sweet!
It is not necessarily a bad thing, IMHO.
Good luck to the young couple.

[Zed]

My view is that to say their lives are wasted is just presumptuous. They could become 'better' people because of it! To me, a wasted life is someone who commits suicide, or someone who is imprisoned for life, or someone who spends 24/7 on KB lol, etc, etc.

Who owns the perfect mould to a wasted or successful life? We all have a different story to tell, and what is considered to be a waste to some folk may not be to others. Plenty of people have been married young and had children and they turned out fine.

[ManDownUnder]

My view is that to say their lives are wasted is just presumptuous. They could become 'better' people because of it! To me, a wasted life is someone who commits suicide, or someone who is imprisoned for life, or someone who spends 24/7 on KB lol, etc, etc.

Who owns the perfect mould to a wasted or successful life? We all have a different story to tell, and what is considered to be a waste to some folk may not be to others. Plenty of people have been married young and had children and they turned out fine.

Bling for all except the 24/7 on KB line... to which I say

"SHUDDUP"!

[Macktheknife]

Well it wasn't that long ago that we were in the same situation!

I was 18 and the girl was 16
Yep accidents happen, and yes she was pregnant.

It was hard to adjust but we stuck at it,
At the time I was an unemployed bum, smoked pot and then this, what on earth was I going to do!!
She was still at school and to make things worse she was kicked out of home.

For the first time in my life I had a reason to work, and to live!
So I applied for a job, and I guess my body language reflected that and I got that job
Then I gave up pot (within a few days of finding out she was pregnant), and we found a house to live in, but we had no money and very little in the way of furniture but we made do by getting a house in the country and working there to pay for the rent on the weekends and before work.
My income was $135 a week, and we didn't even know about Family Support for the first 4 years!!
We did that for about 2 years until we could afford to move to town.

That was 16 years ago, and that girl is now my wife and best friend and I would have it no other way.
We both have good careers (even though she had to leave school) and we still enjoy each other.
That baby is now a 16 year old girl and she gets on like a sister with her mum, they share clothes and makeup.
What makes me feel good about this and I dont mind sharing is that we are still together, we have never relied on others for handouts, and everything we have is our own, and best still we were not able to have anymore children (but boy do we have fun trying), so the one we have is blessed I guess!

So for me, it was a blessing in disguise.
Never judge a book by its cover, sometimes it does work.

Cheers

Zukin, you are a star! bling to you.

[kickingzebra]

23 and having a baby... Been married a year and a half.
The problem is, if one is waiting for a good time to have Kids, it will never come.
Theory goes, there are no insurmountable problems, and hell, if to a person, Kids are an inconveniance to simply be deferred, then I would much rather that person never had children. Saves them the heartache, and the rest of us.

A wise man once said "Children had in the youth of a man, are like Arrows in a quiver in his Old age...."

I want to be able to run and muck around, and be a kid with my kids.
Can't do that when the arthritis sets in. I also want to train my kids to have fun in every day life, and that fun does not (motorcycles excluded) mean social irresponsibility and excess.

The whole of life is for living as an experience you only get once. I refuse to segregate my life into exciting youth, and boring old age.

[dnos]

I think there are some real good points above.
I think that it really does come down to the individuals involved.
It will work for some and not others. I don't think its too young, especially if they planned it and thought it through. (probably not)
My GF has a kid shes only 21 and even tho she never had the time to "live" we still manage to do heaps of cool stuff through the support we have from family and the kids father. I wasn't too keen on getting into it but have adjusted and i love them both.
And yep, when the kid (or kids) have moved out of home i'm planning to be in a situation to go and enjoy myself at that time. Hopefully even retire early.

Good on them and i hope it all works out well for them. It's especially important that they get support from those around them.

[Skyryder]

18 year old mother 19 year old father...........in todays climate. Not a chance.

Just too easy for mum to go solo.




Skyryder

[Hitcher]

Zukin and Yungatart have said it all.

[Zed]

A wise man once said "Children had in the youth of a man, are like Arrows in a quiver in his Old age...."

And happy is the man who has his quiver full of them!

[Steam]

Well I'm wasting my life and I would see it as a major plus if I had married, had kids, etc, when younger. I'm 29 now, and going nowhere in a hurry. Motivation ain't one of my strong suits.
At least he will have beautiful kids, I got a beautiful computer and a whole lot of ex-girlfriends, but not much else. Oh my bitter bitter soul!

[The_Dover]

Well I'm wasting my life and I would see it as a major plus if I had married, had kids, etc, when younger. I'm 29 now, and going nowhere in a hurry. Motivation ain't one of my strong suits.
At least he will have beautiful kids, I got a beautiful computer and a whole lot of ex-girlfriends, but not much else. Oh my bitter bitter soul!

I bet you're a fuckin mean arm-wrestler though.

[magicfairy]

So kid will be grown and gone by the time he's 40 (ish) so he'll have a good life after that though...

I had a baby at 18 - single mom, not much help. Best thing that ever happened to me, sorted my shit out real quick.
She has turned out to be a fantastic person.
In the 26 years since I have trained for 2 professions (Nursing and IT) been married / had a son, been divorced.
Now in my mid 40's kids are grown, job is good, and me and my (in his 30's toyboy)get to spend our weekends out on bikes. We can go to rallies, touring holidays and generally please ourselves.
While others around us his age are selling their bikes cos the kids have come along, getting mortgages and not pleasing themselves.

Life is what you make it.

[SwanTiger]

I'm 18 now and at 17 chose to have a baby with my partner, one of the best decisions I ever made and I have learnt a lot from it and will no doubt have many more lessons coming my way.

In my opinion, having a partner is more emotionally and finacially draining than a child.

[Oakie]

Different strokes. We married young. Me 22, she 19. Wanted kids early so popped out the first one 18 months into our married life and the second one two years later. This very day our youngest turns 20 and will probably be moving out with her husband in the next few weeks. I'm 46 and with the kiddies all raised we have the rest of our lives to enjoy unencumbered by kids.... unlike my poor mate Dave who was a real player in his youth and now at 45 has a 3 and 6 year old to keep him tied down until he's damned near 60. Yet Dave is happy with the way he did it. We're happy with the way we did it.
Gotta say though that having kids young makes it soooo much easier to relate to them as they go through 'the difficult years'.

[Brett]

I am 22 next Tuesday, and was married back in February. My parents had me when my mum was 20 and my dad 25. It was hard work for them, but they made it ok. Growing up I cant really ever say that I went without, i went to private schooling and am now set up as a productive individual. Today, 20 is very very young.
It all depends on where the person is at in their development as an adult. I know some of my friends who are late 20's who are not nearly ready for kids, yet I also have friends who at 18~ have had children and are doing an excellent job in raising their kids in a loving family environment.
Kids are hardwork no matter what, when you have kids you need to realise that they become your primary day to day concern, and raise them accordingly.
I say good on them for actually keeping the kid when so many are aborting knowdays. They are actually stepping up to the mark. if they have a good support structure and their heads right, they will make perfect parents and enjoy many unique experiences that only a parent can have. I can't wait till the wide is in a position for us to have a child.