Wrote this up for the toilets at work today.

[James Deuce]

Just waiting for the boss to approve it and then I'm making up 20 copies and distributing them through the toilets on my floor.

• If you can’t flush it, don’t shit in it. Maybe you could wait until you get home, so your Mum can flush it for you.
• If you need to crap, try not to grunt. It’s bad enough having to share cubicle space with strangers without having to hear about it.
• If you take a piss in a toilet bowl…. Actually just fucking don’t, unless you’re sitting down. You know what I’m saying, Mr I-park-by-touch-so-why-do-I-have-to-aim-my-penis?
• Wash your hands. I gag at the thought of washing my hands and then touching your dangly bits or excrement on the door handle on the way out. There is nothing worse than sitting in the crapper and hearing the cubicle door open next to you, followed immediately by door to the toilet opening without the sound of hands being washed under running water for at least 40 seconds in the intervening time.
• Your cooperation in these matters will ensure that I don’t hide in the air conditioning ducts wearing a Chem Warfare suit, randomly releasing SARIN gas into the toilets.

[Hitcher]

Do I detect a slight hygiene problem?

[The_Dover]

Jim told me that it was just a hormonal imbalance that made him smell funny.

[u4ea]

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkk!!!!!!!!

[James Deuce]

I've bought a bottle of steri-gel for my desk.

Plus you can put it in a water pistol - instant naplam thrower.

It's an anger management thing.

[Skunk]

I've bought a bottle of steri-gel... ...you can put it in a water pistol - instant naplam thrower.

Must get some of that. I have a need...

[vamr]

I've bought a bottle of steri-gel for my desk.

Plus you can put it in a water pistol - instant naplam thrower.

It's an anger management thing.

Hehe, think on the bright side, at least you aren't working at a bar (the things that happen to the toilets are sometimes hard to believe).

[Mom]

Dear God YUK!!!!!!

can you add a couple of things and then print out a few more and send to me so I can put them up at the camp ground this summer......

If your kids dont flush the toilet at home...what makes you think they will here

toilet paper goes in the toilet when you have used it not the floor!

I could go on but I am starting to feel a bit ill......

[Disco Dan]

steri-gel on your desk?

thats a little bit of overkill dont you think??

...the reason the hospitals are fighting superbugs and antibiotic resistant germs etc is because everything is steril. We need to be exposed to at least some of these nasty germs to build our own antibodies to protect ourselves. by sterilising everything we create a cycle that produces children with less antibodies.. who go through the steril life.. ...produce their own children with even less antibodies.. anyone see the pattern?????

[The_Dover]

can you print an extra copy for the bogs at De Bretts in Taupo?

some filthy cunt damn near destroyed them on sunday morning.

[Mom]

steri-gel on your desk?

thats a little bit of overkill dont you think??

...the reason the hospitals are fighting superbugs and antibiotic resistant germs etc is because everything is steril. We need to be exposed to at least some of these nasty germs to build our own antibodies to protect ourselves. by sterilising everything we create a cycle that produces children with less antibodies.. who go through the steril life.. ...produce their own children with even less antibodies.. anyone see the pattern?????

Yeah yeah I agree with you, but at least I am grubby enough to share my nearest and dearests germs........I sure as shit (oops sorry bad pun) dont feel the need to share other peoples.......

[James Deuce]

steri-gel on your desk?

thats a little bit of overkill dont you think??

...the reason the hospitals are fighting superbugs and antibiotic resistant germs etc is because everything is steril. We need to be exposed to at least some of these nasty germs to build our own antibodies to protect ourselves. by sterilising everything we create a cycle that produces children with less antibodies.. who go through the steril life.. ...produce their own children with even less antibodies.. anyone see the pattern?????

I'm sorry, I don't think I should be eating other people's shit at work or standing in their piss or having to wipe crap off the seats.

Steri-gel is designed for this type of thing.

Not washing your hands after going to the toilet is the single biggest killer in the history of mankind.

Hospitals aren't fighting super bugs because of steri-gel. Steri-gel is just an ethanol wash. So called super bugs have been caused by tinkering with the human immune system, not by washing your hands when you take a crap.

[Disco Dan]

yeah i guess... cheers for that..

for me soap is suficant.. and in the absence of that, extremes of temperature will do the trick too for washing your hands.. ie very hot or very cold.

computer keyboards are another germ hotel... do you clean your keyboard often?

[James Deuce]

Wash your hands - and then open the door that someone who didn't wash their hands just opened a moment ago. You may as well have not washed your hands.

My keyboard gets a wipe down with steri-gel once a week.

I've been in hospital twice this year with Influenza, and my immune system is rubbish as a result.

[Shadows]

I've never figured out why, along with all of the other so called stringent health regulations they have to comply with, public eating places and the like have never been required to have outward opening doors on all of their bogs.