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Thread: Women are like apples

  1. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weasel View Post
    In the words of the immortal Usher 'we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'
    Every lady, in the street or otherwise, "is" a freak in bed, they are just waiting for the guy's who know where their button box is and know which order to push them in.

    They (ladies) don't come with a service manual or riding instruction book, you just have to keep working them out individually, that's what makes them interesting and such a challenge!

    What a shit of a world (no pun intended) it would be without women. You just gotta them, don't ya?. Cheers John.

  2. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by dasser View Post
    Blah, blah, blah
    Dribble bottomed rant about some apple-woman-thing.


    I think I'm going to be sick.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldrider View Post
    You just gotta them, don't ya?. Cheers John.
    No, you have to put up with them. Just like managers.
    If a man is alone in the woods and there isn't a woke Hollywood around to call him racist, is he still white?



  4. #19
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    Humpf.... I thought this was going to be about crisp and juicy n stuff...

  5. #20
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    The ones I like are slightly firm, sweet, and get juicier the more I eat them.
    Time to ride

  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim2 View Post
    No, you have to put up with them. Just like managers.
    Not a good day at work today Jim? Wait until you retire it really gets rough then!

    Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

    Now, what exactly was the problem you had with your manager?

    Oh damn it, here they come again Got to move on, see yah Jim. Back to the asylum.

  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldrider View Post
    Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!.
    Hmm... Your memory getting worse John? Can't even remember when you last had sex so have to keep doing it?

    Souinds like a mighty fine way to go - where do i sign up?

  8. #23
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    If c**nts grew on trees, you'd throw stones at girls.
    Visit the team here - teambentley

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  9. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldrider View Post
    Not a good day at work today Jim? Wait until you retire it really gets rough then!

    Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

    Now, what exactly was the problem you had with your manager?

    Oh damn it, here they come again Got to move on, see yah Jim. Back to the asylum.
    Yes,sorry old chap,but as far as the "sex" goes,by yourself does not count!!
    "The road to Hell is really grippy with loads of run off & some wicked lefthanders"

  10. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by bistard View Post
    Yes,sorry old chap,but as far as the "sex" goes,by yourself does not count!!

    You have obviously not met John's wife - shes a hottie (Tell her I mean that in a nice way OK John) and a damn'd fine lady to boot..... She is so polite - she was even nice to me! Wow!

  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldrider View Post
    Not a good day at work today Jim? Wait until you retire it really gets rough then!

    Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!

    Now, what exactly was the problem you had with your manager?

    Oh damn it, here they come again Got to move on, see yah Jim. Back to the asylum.
    But what if he retires with his manager ?

  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by oldrider View Post

    Sex in the morning, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the afternoon, then go for a ride on your bike, sex in the evening, then clean your bike, have tea and watch a little TV, sex again in the evening, rest up, start it all again in the morning!
    I bet the bike doesn't cool down much between rides huh? And is riding the bike solo like the sex?
    Some things are worth dying for, living is one of them.

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fatjim View Post
    I bet the bike doesn't cool down much between rides huh? And is riding the bike solo like the sex?
    When you have to take Viagra for solo sex, the tanks getting empty. They are the blue ones right? John.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weasel View Post
    If I've picked carefully then she will be

    In the words of the immortal Usher 'we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed'
    pffft usher, try hes just taking the words off snoop dogg and ice cube
    usher, what a pussy
    From American dad :
    American dads dad: Breaking into a safe is like making love to a woman

    American dad: So you just pound on it for two minutes until your done?

  15. #30
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    I've tended to find women are exactly like apples, they have always ended up being a disappointment. I like banana's but that admission would make me sound gay - which I am definitely not!!

    ...keep ya peanut butter to yourself Dover.

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