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Thread: Short Scottish joke

  1. #1
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    27th December 2005 - 00:03
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    Short Scottish joke

    A guy walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, day ye hav any books on suicide?"

    To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses, and says, "Fauk off, ye'll no bring it back!"


    Appealed to my sense of humour!!
    Actions speak louder than words or good intentions

    He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up. - Paul Keating

  2. #2
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    26th February 2005 - 15:10
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    One can appreciate her concern. Perhaps they could keep them in the reference section and not lend them out.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidmark
    This world has lost it's drive, everybody just wants to fit in the be the norm as it were.
    Quote Originally Posted by Phil Vincent
    The manufacturers go to a lot of trouble to find out what the average rider prefers, because the maker who guesses closest to the average preference gets the largest sales. But the average rider is mainly interested in silly (as opposed to useful) “goodies” to try to kid the public that he is riding a racer

  3. #3
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    15th October 2005 - 17:42
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    Recently had my Wife's Scottish cousins stay with us & they speak exactly like that. Can't understand a word from em

  4. #4
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    25th May 2004 - 23:04
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    I loved Rab C Nesbitt when I was over there in 1993. You could hardly understand a word he was saying but fuck he was funny! His son had to be THE ugliest prick I've ever seen, but the show was unmissable.

    Here's a link to some info about it, and a short video clip:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/ar..._7775310.shtml
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  5. #5
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    5th August 2005 - 14:30
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    Quote Originally Posted by S&S View Post
    Recently had my Wife's Scottish cousins stay with us & they speak exactly like that. Can't understand a word from em
    Ever tried to have a conversation with Boomer, Dover and Vicky? Still haven't figured out what language they use.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tank
    You say "no one wants to fuck with some large bloke on a really angry sounding bike" but the truth of the matter is that you are a balding middle-aged ice-cream seller from Edgecume who wears a hello kitty t-shirt (in your profile pic) and your angry sounding bike is a fucken hyoshit - not some big assed harley with a human skull on the front.

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