How to tell your boss she has unreasonable expectations?

[MotoGirl]

Don’t you just hate that feeling of having the carpet ripped out from right under your feet? I get this what seems everyday at work and it’s making me really hate the environment I’m in. It’s not a pleasant experience to get frustrated and angry on a daily basis. The company where I work is small – as in really small, with only four people.

My boss is the only person I have an issue with. She changes my priorities on a daily basis and I frequently arrive at work to find a page long email, which contains no reference to the tasks she assigned previously and how the new tasks fit into the other things I have to do. She never gives me due dates for anything or tells me what has the highest priority, and she makes snide remarks when I ask because apparently she doesn’t have time to micro manage. She knows I struggle with her management style yet she turns into a catty bitch when I remind her that she’s being unreasonable. I really don’t know how to tell her to pull her head in, and there have been two occasions where I have been so angry I’ve had to leave the building.


Let me give you some more examples of how shortsighted she can be.
1) My boss organised a training session for some clients, which I was scheduled to run all day Monday starting from 8.30 a.m. I had setup our training room on Friday afternoon so everything was ready to go. At 9 p.m. the Saturday beforehand, my boss sent me a txt message saying she needed the laptop on Monday so could I find something else to use.


My first thought was “you organised this training session and now you’re stealing my resources away?” Our training environment is on a completely different domain so I responded saying that I would make a special trip in to work on Sunday, setup and test my own computer, and then let her know it was OK to take the laptop. She sent me another message and made me feel guilty for inconveniencing her! When did she think I was going to change things over? The training started at 8.30 a.m.


2) I have spent all day today supervising someone presenting another training session (this has been organised for weeks). This is a two day course so I’ll be doing the same thing tomorrow. I deliberately arrived at work super early this morning to finish setting up and just happened to check my emails. What I discovered was an email from my boss asking me to be in the training room but not to participate in the training. Instead, she wanted me to be on the other network adding content to a site that she needs by Friday. I can’t connect to the Internet while being on the other domain because we’ve deliberately disabled it.


She got rather annoyed when I suggested that there was value in me contributing because I was showing the trainees things that could add immediate value to their company. I have been working with the product longer than the other trainer so know some tricks that he doesn’t know about. However, in my boss’ mind, fighting fires has far more priority than the work she scheduled me to do weeks ago.


I’m just so over having my priorities changed on a daily basis and I get really annoyed when she dedicates me to something then tells me on the day that I should be doing something else.


Is there a diplomatic way of telling her to sort her shit out?

[spacemonkey]

Yeah with a resignation letter.
Sounds like the type that you can explain it to untill your blue in the face and they won't care or change.

She has you pegged as her permanent whipping boy/girl.
And I doubt it will change while both you and her stay working there.

Bummer for you but I'd recomend you start job hunting.

[98tls]

Only one way to do it really,sit her down and get it off your chest.As was just posted she seems to think that the way she does things is acceptable and until you do something about it i doubt anything will change,be firm.

[allycatz]

I told my boss two weeks ago her stress levels were red lining and she was un necessarily taking them out on myself and our clients...result? No pay the next day and a letter in my letter box telling me I was releived of my position forthwith....now going for personal grievance

[MotoGirl]

I told my boss two weeks ago her stress levels were red lining and she was un necessarily taking them out on myself and our clients...result? No pay the next day and a letter in my letter box telling me I was releived of my position forthwith....now going for personal grievance

I wouldn't put this past my boss, either. She was pretty childish when a workmate resigned to move to Australia and the tension made everyone in the office uncomfortable.

She's just made another workmate redundant (he was incompetent so it was an excuse) so there's always the risk she could get rid of me using the same trick.

[allycatz]

I was warned about her before I started and I was her third Office Manager in seven months of trading.....I had no prior warnings of the reasons she gave to fire me, one of them being I wore a low cut top FFS!

[cs363]

Unless there's a higher up than your boss that you can take these issues to (and assuming they are reasonable and not biased towards your boss) I'd say you really only have one option and that is to leave.
Whilst getting it off your chest may help you as far as vocalising your problems with her, from the sound of it I doubt whether it will do your work situation much good - probably quite the reverse.

I've been in a somewhat similar position in the past, and whilst I loved the job I wasn't enamoured with the management style. As luck would have it, by a roundabout way I ended up in a similar job but without the aggravation.

My advice is keep your head down and bide your time whilst forming an escape plan. Best not to do anything reactive in the heat of the moment especially in the current job climate. Though it sounds from your posts that you are in a relatively skilled position so I would expect your chances of finding a similar position somewhere else may not be too bad.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do.

[cs363]

I was warned about her before I started and I was her third Office Manager in seven months of trading.....I had no prior warnings of the reasons she gave to fire me, one of them being I wore a low cut top FFS!

On the upside, I predict a healthy sum of money coming your way soon...
And again, good luck to you in your new job quest

[allycatz]

I had a lawyers letter from her this week offering $1k if I shut up and went away....I said no

[MotoGirl]

Unless there's a higher up than your boss that you can take these issues to (and assuming they are reasonable and not biased towards your boss) I'd say you really only have one option and that is to leave.
Whilst getting it off your chest may help you as far as vocalising your problems with her, from the sound of it I doubt whether it will do your work situation much good - probably quite the reverse.

I've been in a somewhat similar position in the past, and whilst I loved the job I wasn't enamoured with the management style. As luck would have it, by a roundabout way I ended up in a similar job but without the aggravation.

My advice is keep your head down and bide your time whilst forming an escape plan. Best not to do anything reactive in the heat of the moment especially in the current job climate. Though it sounds from your posts that you are in a relatively skilled position so I would expect your chances of finding a similar position somewhere else may not be too bad.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do.

You are completely right. I have voiced by concerns with her before and she has never made any attempt to change.

Like you have said, I'm working in a skilled position but the product I use (SharePoint) isn't too common in Tauranga. Bugger.

[spacemonkey]

I had a lawyers letter from her this week offering $1k if I shut up and went away....I said no

Good onya!
Put the boot in!!!!

[AllanB]

My staff just tell me to 'get real' - then they get on with it and most of the time it's all done in the time I thought! But I have nice staff and we all get on pretty well

Basically it sounds like a time management thing. These suck. For both parties - your boss may be under a lot of pressure you are unaware of and consequently not organising herself as well as she could (usually the first thing to suffer).

I'll put it this way: ask her if she can help you to organise your week every Monday morning so you can be more efficient. A 30 minute sit-down on a Monday so you are aware of the weeks work expectations would help both parties.

Hmmm time I did this myself.......

[cs363]

You are completely right. I have voiced by concerns with her before and she has never made any attempt to change.

Like you have said, I'm working in a skilled position but the product I use (SharePoint) isn't too common in Tauranga. Bugger.

Not sure of your personal/financial situation (obviously, lol) but if you have expertise in that sort of field wouldn't there be the possibility of going out on your own as a consultant or something? Just a thought...

[cs363]

I had a lawyers letter from her this week offering $1k if I shut up and went away....I said no

Tell her to add about four zeros to that and you'll think about it, and by the sounds of it she'd be getting off lightly!!

[Bikernereid]

God. it sounds like you have a really hard time. It sounds like your boss maybe finds it difficult to communicate what she wants in a productive manner.

I do not know if it would work but can you maybe use her own emails to identify the problem you are having. If she has asked you to do a,b, c on day 1 and then adds e,f,g on day two and you find that you do not have enough time and she has not prioritised turn it back on her as the manager. She needs to take responsibility as your boss. Just a suggestion but when you email her quote her own words back at her and show her just what she has asked you to do over two days with no direct guidance. Maybe by asking her is she could assist you achieve the goals of meeting her requests by identifying which ones are prioritise you are putting the onus on her to manage professionally.

Sometimes bosses forget what they have asked people to do and do not realise that others are not mind readers and can't sencond guess. I am not justifying her behaviour at all but sometimes we need to try and put ourselves in our bosses shoes and think about what pressures they may be under. maybe you boss is feeling insecure and that she can't cope and she is taking it out on you. Not good I know.

All I would say is don't go in with a confrontational style as it wont help you. If you are empathic and sympathetic it should be harder for her to be a 'bitch'. (Just my humble advice) Hope this helps.