Nigel Latta parenting show TV1 tonight.

[Number One]

"you’re very special to me but those people think you’re annoying, be quiet.”

I like that and it will most definitely come in handy

I keep missing this show - damn and bugger it but good to have read about some of it on here - couldn't agree more with those 'lies'

[Winston001]

It's called being human!

Just jokes. In fact I'm secretly proud he's being a bit bad because he's a fine lad who is never in trouble.

[Ms Piggy]

I keep missing this show - damn and bugger it but good to have read about some of it on here - couldn't agree more with those 'lies'

We're recording it so I can sling ya a copy when it's all done if ya like.

[Number One]

We're recording it so I can sling ya a copy when it's all done if ya like.

That would be great actually! Thanks chick

[The Stranger:Me]

Just jokes. In fact I'm secretly proud he's being a bit bad because he's a fine lad who is never in trouble.

Of course. Rebellion etc is a very necessary part of the journey.
I would be more concerned if a child just did what they were told all the time.

[PrincessBandit]

Of course both my children are incredibly talented and gifted. They take after me.
hahahahaha

But seriously, they are! No no no no, really seriously...I've never been one for going overboard on praising kids every little effort. They have to learn that effort, in life, is par for the course and doesn't automatically earn them special notice. On the other hand, I would never tell my kids they suck at something or that they're a "loser" because they didn't "win" (words used by someone in an earlier post).

Kids have to learn early that not everyone is going to fawn over them and pander to their ego. What hope do those kids have of learning about integration and how to get on with others when they remain the centre of their universe and parents indulge that mentality?

[The Stranger:Me]

Kids have to learn early that not everyone is going to fawn over them and pander to their ego. What hope do those kids have of learning about integration and how to get on with others when they remain the centre of their universe and parents indulge that mentality?

Have you discussed your ideas with your darling brother per chance?

[PrincessBandit]

Have you discussed your ideas with your darling brother per chance?

Well, not really, on two counts: (1) he's big enough and ugly enough to make his own decisions now and (2) he's not my offspring - the thought is just too disturbing for words. I need a drink now. Damn you!

Oh, and trust me, mum NEVER pandered to any of us 3 kids. She was a pretty strict lady.

[Forest]

My mate came over last night with his wife and their two rug-rats (a three yo boy and a five yo girl).

What amazed me was that they were constantly trying to reason with the kids i.e. do this because , don't do that because XYZ.

WTF? A three year old isn't capable of responding to reason!

Consequently I now have a large Ribena stain on my yellow couch.

[MSTRS:Me]

My mate came over last night with his wife and their two rug-rats (a three yo boy and a five yo girl).

What amazed me was that they were constantly trying to reason with the kids i.e. do this because , don't do that because XYZ .

WTF? A three year old isn't capable of responding to reason!

Consequently I now have a large Ribena stain on my yellow couch.

And that, folks, is precisely why it is the parent's job to control their kids. With a firm 'order' ("No!"?), followed up with another ("I said, NO!!!"), perhaps removal of whatever is causing the problem...and backed up by some sort of appropriate (physical) punishment for non-compliance.

[Winston001]

My mate came over last night with his wife and their two rug-rats (a three yo boy and a five yo girl).

What amazed me was that they were constantly trying to reason with the kids i.e. do this because , don't do that because XYZ.

WTF? A three year old isn't capable of responding to reason!

Consequently I now have a large Ribena stain on my yellow couch.

Ah. Ok. The positive parenting model isn't easy to get right. The principle is the parent gives a simple explanation to the child saying why a behaviour should stop. So its "No, do not take the drink away from the table because it might spill." as opposed to "No, stay at the table" without any explanation.

No still means No. Giving an explanation fills out the command and lets the child understand the consequences.

Where it goes wrong is very young children will then embark on an endless argument of "Why...???" while the tolerant and well meaning parent tries to engage in logic. You can't with most 3 yr olds.

So one command with very simple explanation, then if disobeyed act. Remove the drink, remove the child, whatever. In positive parenting the parent is still the boss.

Of course I never fell into the trap of arguing with 3yr olds, oh no.....

[Winston001]

Just musing about the concerns expressed in this thread. I liked what Nigel Latta presented.

Positive parenting is not easy. The old Victorian style of command parenting where children were seen and not heard was a lot easier. Engaging with your children is hard work, trying to find simple age-appropriate explanations, simple choices (3 is the limit), consequences for disobedience. Much easier to say shutup and give them a smack.

The badly behaved children whom we all see are the result of inadequate parenting. IMHO such children are often spoilt. That is not the childs fault. A parent who had a repressive upbringing may overcompensate by putting no limits or restraints on the child. That is not positive parenting, its a transfer of power to the child.

I firmly believe in explaining stuff to children - and listening to them. Then as the parent you decide.

I am a far far better parent for having learned positive parenting ideas than if I'd stumbled along trying to emulate and correct my own (good) parents ideas.

[James Deuce]

I'm thoroughly sick of formulaic approaches to child rearing. I'm especially sick of the fact that everything I do is wrong. So I've stopped listening.

Nyah.

[Winston001]

I'm thoroughly sick of formulaic approaches to child rearing. I'm especially sick of the fact that everything I do is wrong. So I've stopped listening.

Nyah.

Nah Jim, you're just normal - parents are never right according to their children.

[ynot slow]

You have to set the boundaries with kids,if not they learn at kindy or school the hard way lol.Knew a kindy teacher,her first job at discipline was you can't smack them,but can squeeze their wrists etc,they soon understand.Usually it is simple,don't do it because if you place your hand on the stove it will burn like this(mum showing her burnt legs she recieved as a kid).

My kids learnt quickly,put your toys away inside or outside when finished as it takes less time,especially when they wanted to go to the park.Also if I was mowing the lawns the first time I mowed a toy(plastic not metal)they learnt to tidy up.Never had to tell them twice,once explained they knew,and they mostly did as asked,but 3yr olds are cute sort of.

As for sport,yep teach them winning is better than losing,but giving it a go is paramount.When at primary school my brother was a good athletic kid,he was in the school relay at 10ys when others were 12-13yrs(convent went to form 1)and anchor for the 4x100mts relay,mum said if you guys win I'll shout you all milkshakes from their dairy,turned out first time in 10yrs the school won,and did for next 3years.