Don't ride when angry. Don't ride when frustrated. Don't ride when your head aint in the game. Thats what I've been told. Funny though how the naivety of youth blinds some to the lessons of life until it is learnt the hard way.
After a stressfull few days the last straw was pulled today when I was slapped with a $450 buck bill. I almost had a heart attack. I'm a student...thats big bucks. I decided to go for a ride to blow off steam (the wrong kind of steam). There you go. Mistake number one. If I had decided to go for a jog, read a book or destroy a punching bag, things would have turned out differently.
See the warning signs. I should have. They even came up with a name for it. The red mist or some crap like that...I just call it being stupid. Went for a cruise through the city streets on my way north. I just wanted to ride, I didnt care where...I just wanted to forget the troubles of this weekend. There you go, mistake number two...not caring.
I was sitting at 60..(my bikes pretty slow so it aint hard), I knew the streets, I was zoning off. Crested a blind hill which I know well, I cut it back to 50. Over the top, still seething. See the warning signs, a faint light falling on the give way sign from a road to the right...meh who cares. Mistake number three..not listening to your instincts.
Before you know it, a car pulls out. HE SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME. In the end, that doesnt matter, what matters is I SHOULD HAVE BEEN PREPARED. The anchors go on, every time I practiced emergency braking was for this point in time, not a near call but a proper emergency stop. Time slows down..sounds stupid but it does. The forks dive, you can feel every rut, every undulation in the road. The front is on hard, almost locking. The rear is light, almost of the ground, fully on. I can hear the slow motion squeak as it almost locks. Dont target fixate....I look to the left, aim for the front of the car. Funny the bike goes left, fuck this dont target fixate thing actually works. Theres no room to squeeze by. The front is still diving. The cars skids to a halt in the middle of the lane. I stop, a few cm past the front bumper in front of the car, wheel in the gutter. The front picks were on so hard, it bottomed the forks. There is a big dent in my front fender where contact was made with the clamp at the top of the forks.
The car pulls over to the side, I pull over. This is when a kind of shock kicks in. Your hands tremble. The driver gets out, comes running. "I'm sorry bro, I just didnt see you. I'm a motorcyclist too...I just didnt see you". I feel no anger, whats the point. I tell him to look twice and drive safe. I shake his hand and he goes on his way. My hands are still trembling, my breaths are short n shallow. I sit on the side of the road and collect myself.
Want to know what went through my head, when I thought I was going to impact the car. It aint worth it. It aint worth almost getting killed becuase I was riding in a bad frame of mind. Its only four fifty bucks...fuck it, I can recoup that in four weeks. It aint worth my neck, or an innocent persons on the street.
It aint worth it, no matter how pissed you are, how much you dont care, it aint worth it.
The driver said, I didnt see you. In reality, I DIDNT SEE HIM. I didnt see anything since I started the bike, blinded by emotions. I should have picked up on everything. It was all my fault.
Turned around, rode home, parked the bike up.
Lesson learnt. The stupid way. It aint worth it...riding when your not in the right place.
It just aint worth it. On a happier note, I know my brakes work.
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