Dads get stitched up

[peasea]

we don't have crystal balls.

Lucky for us; some wenches would crush them and put them in our soup.

[chanceyy]

Darned right Peasea, heard it all too many times from decent honest hardworking blokes only wanting to have a good life and provide their kids with one... only to get absolutely royally shafted by the most unbelievably greedy, callous piece of shitstain alive - a woman every time.

I do take exception to that paragraph ... men are not the only ones to get shafted, admit it is more woman than men who have a great need for greed, revenge, & to basically stick the knife in .. but it is both men & woman .. have seen it to many times to count ..
but to say a woman every time .. sorry mate .. do not tar us with the same brush .. I have never nor will I ever become a greedy, callous piece of shitstain alive ... & my ex's can assertain to that fact ..

I grew up in the sort of shit soup these storeies have told - my Mum took my Dad to the cleaners for pretty much all he was worth, while trying her best to get in the sack with the next door neighbour (who was married), but failing. Learning what I only learnt much later on in life (I was 5 when my parents split), I have no respect for my mother and what she did to my old man - no question who's the better person.

The things brought up in the thread are part of why I am adamant I do not want children - ever. And before anyone gets on my back about this - don't even think about it. This is my life and my life decision. I am in no way encouraging others not to have children, nor am I saying having children is a bad decision, but it is my decision to make. Why is a measure of a happy life having a wife and kids?!? All the bloody gubbermint does is encourage people to have children, and then gives people who have them but can't afford to have them tax breaks to deal with them. But for your ordinary hardworking NZer who's made the decision not to have kids or cannot? No tax break for you buddy, have children. Fuck that.

Sorry Peasea, bit of a nerve hit with me too. You have my sympathies mate. Your ex sounds like the stereotypical money and power hungry woman.

like you I have decided not to have kids .. been saying it since i was 17 & now I am much much much older my family kinda think I mean what I say ... a lot of reasons for it but I would never want kids to be put through the mill since relationships never seem to last these days

As kids get older & can see through the bullshit that was a part of their childhood they have the ability to make up their own minds about the truth & see what is real & what is not .. yes most do make contact with the other parent later on .. but all those "missed yrs" do impact on both child & parent, & why all because of an adults desire to screw someone over ..

My thought ... kids never asked to be born .. we have the choice to bring them into the world & it takes both parties to make a child .. so that child has the right to have both parents in their life .. & they require both to balance out their needs ... only exception .. if they are abused .. then no they do not need that parent in their life .. what is abuse ? as this comes in many forms we are not just talking about the physical but mental as well .. it would be great if parents could put their own prejudices & agenda's aside & just allow kids to be kids .. love them unconditionally & nurture them

I wasn't targetting anyone in particular just the general tone this thread was taking on - that the wife WILL take everything, some people do dispicable (sp?) things, thats life unfortunately. Its the gender sterotype crap that gets me a little pissy.

hear hear .....

[Grahameeboy]

Good post you..........like you said it...

[ajturbo]

i walked out with my van, (work) work gear and a cloth's dryer...she still wanted half the value of the work gear!!!???... told her she could have the the lot!.. i'll leave it in her garage...
she didn't take up that offer..(why?)
granted i was not purfect, but i NEVER TOUCHED the picture!!!

but NOW i am glad, i have luke, i have met some really great women, who have made me a better person. and luke and i have a blast ... wouldn't change the way things are now, i don't have my own house, i have my son, my dogs, my buell, my FREEDOM.
will i get married again...FUCK NO... and every woman i meet, they know that from the start.... they come for the ride.. or they get off and wave as i go past...i do not put up with women's mind games any more!..talk the truth or fuck off...
i have a few friends that i tell that i really miss them and i do and i enjoy the time that they put aside for me...and i tell them that, some have new boyfriends, so don't... but i can still sit down and have a coffee/beer/bourbon with them and smile !...
i would rather have a friend than a lover any day!..(wow did I say that???)

[Deviant Esq]

sorry mate .. do not tar us with the same brush ..

Sorry for the misunderstanding there, but I wasn't tarring you all with the same brush. The paragraph as a whole referred only to the stories that I've heard and been a part of - in every one of those cases it was a woman with a greedy selfish little smirk on her face (I remember my mother's all too well) happily sticking the knife in the guy's back and pushing it deeper. It would shock some people the lengths some women will go to to shaft an ex husband out of anything he owns and come back for more - house, possessions, money, even fighting tooth and nail to prevent him seeing his own children. Having seen it and been part of it myself I make no apologies for those women.

I know there are very decent women out there too, hell, I'm lucky enough to be with one myself. Good on you for being a decent person. Maybe it's a case of the minority spoiling it for the majority... but I doubt it. Based on the growing number of stories coming through on here, adding to the ones we hear all the time in person, not on KB, all familiarly themed... one knows a trend when one sees it.

[jimbo600]

These days I pay for it by the 1/2 hour.

Works out cheaper in the long run.

[Grahameeboy]

These days I pay for it by the 1/2 hour.

Works out cheaper in the long run.

Is it like putting 50cents in the electricity meter?

[Toaster]

There is no justice in the 'family Court' and there's certainly no sense of family.

No I have never been there personally and I hope I never will, but my heart goes out to you and the others going or gone through this.

I spent a few years in the cops.... it seemed all I ever saw were broken families and the sad situations that result, the fights, the domestics, the kids gone wild and in trouble... and so many repeating their mistakes over and over... to be really honest, it utterly broke my heart. I recall one Sunday afternoon of 4 domestics, two burglaries a robbery and a car crash.... and I was working alone and stretched beyond my limits.

I remember feeling utterly empty at the end of that shift with a mountain of paperwork to do from all that and the memories of the arguments and accusations ringing in my head from the day.

All the best... we can't change our mistakes, but I hope we all can learn from them make a difference in the future.

[scumdog]

These days I pay for it by the 1/2 hour.

Works out cheaper in the long run.

But don't you feel gutted with having to paying for a 1/2 hour when there's 25 minutes you didn't 'use'??

[scumdog]

No I have never been there personally and I hope I never will, but my heart goes out to you and the others going or gone through this.

I spent a few years in the cops.... it seemed all I ever saw were broken families and the sad situations that result, the fights, the domestics, the kids gone wild and in trouble... and so many repeating their mistakes over and over... to be really honest, it utterly broke my heart. I recall one Sunday afternoon of 4 domestics, two burglaries a robbery and a car crash.... and I was working alone and stretched beyond my limits.

I remember feeling utterly empty at the end of that shift with a mountain of paperwork to do from all that and the memories of the arguments and accusations ringing in my head from the day.

All the best... we can't change our mistakes, but I hope we all can learn from them make a difference in the future.

Likewise, sadly I agree 100% with the above.
The one + is that now it's no leniency when it comes to family violence - any sign of it and the offending party is off to Court - even is she (and it is mainly 'she') later does the "I don't want him to go to Court, it's all my fault" song later on as a lot do.

The negative is a shitload more paper-work and a whole lot of new forms to fill in.

[Toaster]

The negative is a shitload more paper-work and a whole lot of new forms to fill in.

Why does that not surprise me!

[civil]

The one + is that now it's no leniency when it comes to family violence - any sign of it and the offending party is off to Court - even is she (and it is mainly 'she') later does the "I don't want him to go to Court, it's all my fault" song later on as a lot do.

Thanks for confirming what we all know. He gets taken off to the cells and put before the judge with the resulting record and most likely loss of the children, when she started it in the first place!!!!!

Why dont the police read the Domestic Violence Act and find out just what DV is according to the statue. Emotional and Verbal Abuse is Domestic Violence also and is the pre-curser to physical violence. So why dont the police act on the Emotional and Verbal Violence (that typically she is very good at!!), that started off the DV?
No the umpire only takes action when 'he' steps up to the plate and plays the game 'she' wanted to play, but with the equipment 'he' has !!!! "RED CARD!!!!!" and yet 'he was only playing 'her' game.

Appologies to all the 'she's' that do not fit the mould described above.

[Little Miss Trouble]

I take it you think "she was asking for it" then?

I'm not even going to offer my thoughts on this one...

[scumdog]

civis, it's bloody hard to sort out a childish 'he-said-she-said' verbal dispute - how do you produce the evidence in Court?. (Not knocking that it happens - I have first-hand experiences of mental/verbal abuse).
But a bloody nose, black eys and fat lips along with smashed furniture and fittings (as last nights one was) makes it a no-brainer.

A lot (most) of the time the offender has history for this too.

And sure she may have 'started' it (and that comment sounds almost childish) but the guy only has to say nothing/step outside/call a mate over - it doesn't matter how catty the woman is the guy isn't going to fix anything (except the noise maybe!) by hitting her - he's only making a rod for his own back.

And oh, yeah, it goes both ways - woman go to Court for exactly the things you mentioned too.

But the mental/verbal thing? - suggest the woman sees Womans Refuge etc.

The guy? (if it's the other way around)............gets a shit sandwich as there's bugger-all support for guys out there.

[Grahameeboy]

civis, it's bloody hard to sort out a childish 'he-said-she-said' verbal dispute - how do you produce the evidence in Court?. (Not knocking that it happens - I have first-hand experiences of mental/verbal abuse).
But a bloody nose, black eys and fat lips along with smashed furniture and fittings (as last nights one was) makes it a no-brainer.

A lot (most) of the time the offender has history for this too.

And sure she may have 'started' it (and that comment sounds almost childish) but the guy only has to say nothing/step outside/call a mate over - it doesn't matter how catty the woman is the guy isn't going to fix anything (except the noise maybe!) by hitting her - he's only making a rod for his own back.

And oh, yeah, it goes both ways - woman go to Court for exactly the things you mentioned too.

But the mental/verbal thing? - suggest the woman sees Womans Refuge etc.

The guy? (if it's the other way around)............gets a shit sandwich as there's bugger-all support for guys out there.

Challenge is good............