Should yummy mummies ride?

[Draco]

Dads are not required in NZ society. Mums are. It is infinitely more easy for a Solo Mum to negotiate life than a Solo Dad.

BOLLOCKS!!!!!!! I was raised by a single Dad through the 70's/80's. I raised my daughter as a single mum through the 90's. I probably faced more discrimination and societal judgements/assumptions than he did. Dad's matter as much as mum's. I'm a pediatric nurse who deals with babies/children & families every day, and I see a large portion of Dad's staying in hospital with their kids, because their kids prefer it, or because they are single dad's. And the same goes for the families I saw through early childhood centres for the 8 years I worked in them. Male role models for our kids is as integral to society as female one's.

[Draco]

Ride.

I can perhaps see the logic in not having mum and dad on the same bike at the same time but I'd probably still do it if my husband would ever get on the back.

My logic: if you love it and it offers you a sense of fulfilment and enjoyment then that in itself is going to make you a better parent to your children anyway. If something goes wrong then I figure my kids will know that I was doing something I love.

Edit: I am a firm believer that having children is no reason why we should ever change what we do or who we are.

Here, here! I've met Keystone's kids, they're a classic example of two well adjusted, happy, confident kids, because they have two parents who continue to enjoy many hobbies and sports, some of which have risks. They role model to their kids that life is for living, experiencing & enjoying.

I too as a mum (who also happened to be single when I started riding) have faced much opposition to the fact that I choose to ride a motorbike. And I have nearly died in the process. My daughter lives by the motto that she should give everything in life a go atleast once. Consider the risks, minimise them as best you can, and then go for it! And i like to think that living my life the way I choose had something to do with that.

What also amuses/annoys me is that in NZ society, nobody tells parents that they can't take their 10' tinny out fishing or go swimming and yet more people die in this country pleasure boating or drown swimming??!!

Chris, if you think your doing your kids an injustice riding, then don't. If you think your happiness/pleasure is important while you have children then ride. It's a personal choice hun, only yours to make either way.

[avgas]

I think 5 is a good limit for kids. I wont take my nephew on the bike until he can atleast ride his pedler well on his own with no assistance.
But then again i suit up to ride 100m.

[Number One]

I've been thinking about us Mummies of kids under age 5 - whether we should be out there on bikes.

If you're a good/safe rider then I don't see much problem in it, accidents can happen whether you are in a car or whether you're on a bike. I think the only difference is that bikers tend to fare worse in the injury stakes because we're not protected by a cage. It's a break from the realities of life, but is it a good passtime for parents of small children?

Feeling mixed emotions about the issue, I know a friend won't let his wife get her learners (kids similar ages to my two) ride, he rides but doesn't want to have her out there in harms way. What are your thoughts on this issue?

Struggling a little with this myself. Gave up my bike when I got pregnant and am on the long road to getting another as I do miss the freedom and well just doing it heaps and feel it is time to reclaim some of 'my pre-mummy self' of which biking was a big part - it was also how hubby and I really connected and used to enjoy ourselves...so thinking about it for my marrage too as he still rides and I'd like to be able to again share that with him - and lets face it being on the back is ok for a while but ya just want to own those handlebars!

Find it interesting to see the mixed views and can't help but feel my heckles raise at the suggestion that it's ok for dads but not mums....WTF?! Kids need their daddies as much as their mummies and hey mummies need daddies too!!!!!

Anyway - Things are looking good for me to have my own 2 wheels in the garage some time in the next few months (bring it on!) but all the while I am torn about the 'What if?' I would hate to think my riding a bike (even like the nana that I am) could cost me the opportunity to watch my handsome wee boy grow up (whether I love riding or not keeping in mind we have no control over all the other numskulls on the road) however I do also know that I must be happy and my boy should see me taking calculated risks and not being afraid of life...Life lived in fear is a life half lived and all that.

Anyway I am not yet ready to give up for good, so guess I will just be mindful at all times to ride slowly and defensively and keep reminding myself that I AM invisible and EVERY bastard is out to kill me!

Posted this a while ago in Biker Angels to get thoughts from the ladies on this issue: http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ad.php?t=60710

[scumdog]

Chikadee, I've thought a bit about this (hence why only now I'm posting a reply on the actual topic) and I guess the bottom line of my sig. sums it up.

Having said that I still fuss/worry when CB is riding - yet it never worried me too much when she was a pillion - go figure!!

Ride like I do - full of paranoia and trepidation yet strangely enjoying the experience....just treat ALL other road users as psychotic incompetents out to get you and ride accordingly, NEVER trust them to do the right thing or NOT do the stupid wrong thing and you'll be O.K.

[scootnz]

I took out life insurance after my second was born (they're now aged 4 and 2). Also asked my partner to take out life insurance, and then asked him to come to Public Trust with me to get wills made. All done.

Finally this year I think I can start riding out of town again - it's rally season now, and have two to go to in February and March.

I have been to some rallies in the past 4 years - I went in the car with my 5 month old, just so I could be there, and got a chance to ride part of the way.

My partner and I got together through riding, and will stay together through riding. I want to see more of this country - and can't afford to do it in 4 wheels. And it's just not the same.

Having children has changed my life, and me. Why bother having them otherwise? Children are one way of discovering more about yourself and other people, and growing.

It's not really possible to go for spontaneous rides - I can't presume on family caring for my kids at the drop of a hat. My youngest is more work - so leaving both of them with family is not done very often, especially overnight. But my family knows it's important to me, and I only ask when I really need it.

I think if riding is important to you, you should take all reasonable precautions to provide for your family, then ride when you can. You appreciate it all the more when you can't take it for granted.

[James Deuce]

BOLLOCKS!!!!!!! I was raised by a single Dad through the 70's/80's. I raised my daughter as a single mum through the 90's. I probably faced more discrimination and societal judgements/assumptions than he did. Dad's matter as much as mum's. I'm a pediatric nurse who deals with babies/children & families every day, and I see a large portion of Dad's staying in hospital with their kids, because their kids prefer it, or because they are single dad's. And the same goes for the families I saw through early childhood centres for the 8 years I worked in them. Male role models for our kids is as integral to society as female one's.

Things have changed dramatically since then, especially with the introduction of the DPB and the Family Court.

You are talking from your past experience. I am talking about now.

As far as Dad's staying in Hospital with kids, you're yelling at the wrong guy. I've spent weeks in hospital and as a bloke it is not a place you want to spend time, irrespective of the reason you are there. You are watched, interrogated repeatedly, and medical staff will not confirm a course of treatment with out a Mum's input.

My wife is a pediatric nurse, with 20 years experience in a couple of countries and the blatant discrimination against Dad's is horrendous, but not nearly as bad as against male nurses working in the pediatric arena.

Male role models have been removed from the parts of NZ society that Children would most likely encounter them, and there has been a strong push to disestablish marriage as the family structure model people aspire to.

[Devil]

Here, here! I've met Keystone's kids, they're a classic example of two well adjusted, happy, confident kids, because they have two parents who continue to enjoy many hobbies and sports, some of which have risks. They role model to their kids that life is for living, experiencing & enjoying.
.

I've met her kids too. They're a great reason to get out riding!

*ahem*

Just kidding, Jill

[PrincessBandit]

Ride.
Edit: I am a firm believer that having children is no reason why we should ever change what we do or who we are.

I didn't start riding until a year ago (my kids are now 16 and 18) and I would love to have been riding much earlier. However my husbands family have always been anti-bikes and he had inherited that discrimination. I admire him immensely that he could own up to that and "come out the other side" to the point of encouraging me and us buying my first bike and now my Bandit. Both he and our son are also riding now and we are all LOVING it. Only one not interested is daughter (the 18 yr old); she prefers to stick with cage driving.
My personal feeling is that when you have children you DO (read 'should') put them ahead of yourself while they are dependent on you. Obviously it is a huge gray area as to what constitutes endangering yourself and your kids being left bereft of one or both parents; and tragedies will always strike some families in this manner. Like others have said, you have to make your own choice and as long as you can live with / accept the consequences then no-one else can tell you what to do. I probably would not have ridden, even with my husband's encouragement, while my children were little. And I don't really mean to make light of the "they're now big enough and ugly enough to survive without me" type of mentality, but there is a grain of truth in that...

[Beemer]

The mum or dad is the one who could possibly get hurt, not the kids, so they can do whatever the hell they like. What are you going to do teach your kids to live in fear?

Good call - how about we all go and work in cotton wool factories and never do anything that may endanger our lives? Pedestrians get killed walking across Lambton Quay - should we ban parents going to work? People die from all sorts of things every day and the majority of those things aren't dangerous. If your view is that motorcycling is dangerous, so is driving a car - so we should all go and live on a commune where we have no need of transport.

There are lots of parents in the military - can you imagine how few soldiers we'd have if they all felt that doing dangerous things was a no-no once they bred?

Yes, be careful, but don't give up life just because you have kids! Or if you feel like that, don't breed in the first place because you're just going to fill the world with a pack of nancy boys and girls!

[janno]

For a husband to say to his partner she can't learn to ride a motorcycle is increadibly selfish - IF he is a motorcyclist!! If he isn't then fair point, and it's something they would both have to work through.

But if he rides, then what's good for the goose is good for the gander. So either both don't ride or participate in other high risk activities such as diving or solo mountaineering etc, or both follow their passions. As someone mentioned, and I think it applies to anything unless you are a bomb disposal hobbyist, the chances are something like 1 in several hundred thousand of being killed on a bike.

Would it have occured to this man to say OK dear, you get your licence and I'll stop riding for the next few years . . . no, I didn't think so!!

My life was turned upside down at the age of twenty when I randomly contracted an illness that I only just survived, and I've been fairly limited ever since. So I love to see people out there doing what they love, taking risks, and living life.

I can't stand people sitting around using the excuse of something bad might happen to not participate in life. As plenty of people on here will know, you don't appreciate how good life is until you have choices taken away from you.

So tell you friend to go for it!

[Crisis management]

I can never really understand the need for polls and discussion when this and many other topics is only about self responsibility.
Every day we make these decisions, shall I spend money on the bike or the kids school uniform, can I go on the south island passes ride or finish the house renovations....its endless and really simple, you weigh up your options and responsibilities and do what you feel is right.

The major defining point in adulthood is the ability to take responsibility and act on that responsibility, you may not enjoy every decision you have to make but life is a package, not a series of pleasures laid on for yourself.

Don't overdramatise the dangers of motorcycling, it's just another thing we do in life, all activities have risks and we manage them to the best of our ability. If I worried about the risks I and my wife took in our lives we wouldn't be the people we are, and I like who we are!

So, Chickadee, weigh up your desires and concerns (including McJims) and make a decision, live with it and adjust as circumstances demand.

You guys sound sensible, you can sort it out.

[MSTRS:Me]

My take on this is....yes, as a parent, to a certain extent your life is no longer yours alone. BUT, it is by no means over and you should not avoid doing things you enjoy just because of a heightened amount of risk. What if you tripped up the back steps, cracked your scone on the top step and died of a brain haemorage? Shit can happen anywhere, anytime. Life is like that.

[Keystone19]

Things I did before kids: extreme skiing, downhill mountainbike racing, multipitch rock climbing, mountaineering.

Things I do after kids: motorcycle racing, mountainbiking, adventure racing, triathlons.

In retrospect, I think I have toned things down a little after having children...



You will make the choices you do based on how you feel at the time. If you are truly worried about the risks to your children involved with riding a bike, you may not enjoy it anyway so you will need to weigh that up in your decision.

[Howie]

I've been thinking about us Mummies of kids under age 5 - whether we should be out there on bikes.

If you're a good/safe rider then I don't see much problem in it, accidents can happen whether you are in a car or whether you're on a bike. I think the only difference is that bikers tend to fare worse in the injury stakes because we're not protected by a cage. It's a break from the realities of life, but is it a good passtime for parents of small children?

I think it is all about personal choices, if you know the risks involved and take the precautions you think are needed then go for it. Their are many things we do in everyday life that have a risk factor involved.

Dads are not required in NZ society. Mums are. It is infinitely more easy for a Solo Mum to negotiate life than a Solo Dad.

As a full time single parent for the last 6 years I don't think I have found it any harder to negotiate life than a single Mum would. I make/ made choices That effect the lives of my kids and myself just as a single Mum would.