What's up with the general population of Forum Flamers?

[McJim]

Oi, you daft scottish prick! Shut your gob hole and eat your filthy rotten haggis in the corner like a good boy, and while yer at it, get those electrikical thingabubs sorted on your Ducrappi okay?

Sheesh, anyone would have thought you went away!

PS - Look out for sumthin' in the post ... like a letter bomb or summit ...

Ever thought of posting yourself down here? We could do with a nutter like you in the sunny south.

[gijoe1313]

Ever thought of posting yourself down here? We could do with a nutter like you in the sunny south.

Well you leaving for the South Island raised the IQ levels on both sides of them!

Unfortunamately my filial duties to my farmily precruded me from paddling across to your neck of the woods justs so I can give you the learn!

I swear you are just like Julie Andrews in the "Hills are alive with the sound of music" scene, just you got the loud cans and the dunka-dunka chunka-chunka sounds of the Duchess chokking through the South Isles!

[RT527]

Hey I have upside down forks...............mind coming over and helping me put it right side up...its a bit heavy

[gijoe1313]

Hey I have upside down forks...............mind coming over and helping me put it right side up...its a bit heavy

Thats not what you want to do! (Harry Enfield accent)

You want to mount it sideways like! Make sure the leaning motion is counterbated by having the suspension forks done that way, no wait, you got it all wrong! It should be left side up spoons! Because you need a full set to be properly equipped don't you see!

[RT527]

Ha de Har Har

[scracha]

Oi, you daft scottish prick! Shut your gob hole and eat your filthy rotten haggis in the corner like a good boy, and while yer at it, get those electrikical thingabubs sorted on your Ducrappi okay?
...

Sure you've got the correct Scotsman and the correct Ducrappi?

[Mikkel]

Srsly GTFO n00bs!

[Bass]

No actually it works the other way around... High speeds will introduce Lorentz contraction as described in the special theory of relativity.
So actually - the faster you go the shorter your cock will seem to be.

True, but its mass increases.
So you wind up with this incredibly heavy dick, that you struggle to find.
Worse than that, if you do manage to find it, it is so heavy that it pulls you face first into the bog everytime you take a leak.

[idb]

True, but its mass increases.
So you wind up with this incredibly heavy dick, that you struggle to find.
Worse than that, if you do manage to find it, it is so heavy that it pulls you face first into the bog everytime you take a leak.

Clearly another reason to slow down.
They don't mention that on the telly ads or roadside billboards.

[Mikkel]

True, but its mass increases.
So you wind up with this incredibly heavy dick, that you struggle to find.
Worse than that, if you do manage to find it, it is so heavy that it pulls you face first into the bog everytime you take a leak.

On the other hand - the time dilation might solve your problems with pre-mature ejaculation!

Also, I hope you don't mind your dick turning blue - because that'll be what it looks like to the observer you're moving towards due to the doppler shift.

[Hitcher]

On the other hand - the time dilation might solve your problems with pre-mature ejaculation!

There was a young fellow of Kent
Whose prick was so long it was bent,
So to save himself trouble
He put it in double,
And instead of coming he went.

There was a young fellow named Fisk
A swordsman, exceedingly brisk
So fast was his action
The Lorentz contraction
Compressed his foil to a disc.

If inside a circle a line
Hits the centre and goes spine to spine
And the line's length is d
the circumference will be
d times 3.14159.

[jrandom]

Two can play at that game, Mister Hitcher Sir.

A woman in liquor production
Owns a still of exquisite construction.
The alcohol boils
Through magnetic coils.
She says that it's "proof by induction."

[Bass]

A dapper young lad from Solencil,
Had a tool that was thin as a pencil.
Well, it went through an actress,
Two sheets and a mattress,
And shattered the bedroom utencil





Now that must have been really fast.......relatively speaking

[Hitcher]

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
in a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.


function createLimerick(){
var scanning=terriblySlick;
if(lines==5)
&&rhyme=="live"
do(laugh(); performNewTrick(); )}

[Bass]

There was a young lady named Bright
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She set out one day,
in a relative way,
And returned on the previous night.

You win.
Einstein would be proud (and probably Ixion too since he has diverted us light years from the original topic)