Riding scared

[FROSTY:Me]

I had a bit of a crash May last year.It kinda fucked with the small amount of grey matter in the ol noggin.
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...ad.php?t=51300
Applying the get back on the horse principle I was back riding Jorjas lil 125 within a few weeks.
A few months afterwards I rode the very bike at the track i crashed on.
And I've been out on a few other bikes.
Heres the thing though. It's hard to admit but I've been riding scared the whole time.
Actually No scared isn't the word really. Come to some corners and the word is -terrified.
It's the kind of terror based on years of "getting away with it"
Is that just a shiney bit of road or a Diesel spill?. Is that gravel by the roadside ahead or just different seal? Is there going to be a car coming my side of the road? No rythem of riding.rough and jerky in the corners.
Even on my trail bike triuth be known I'm none to happy to even begin to explore its limits. The kids are a fine ol excuse for riding slow.
Its the fear of actually feeling like a fraud too. turn up for a ride and people I know full well could ride rings around me thinking I can ride really fast if I "wanted to".
Scared Ill never enjoy going quick on the racetrack again or enjoy a fastish ride on some of my favorite roads.

Well last night I finally had a ride that I enjoyed .
It was on "ginny" the not so grunty GS500 I've recently aquired.
A 2 hour ride with a bunch of fellow KBers around some of west aucklands more er "interesting " roads.
Never riding "fast" just enough to get a good flow on
The corners all merged together in some sort of harmony.
Just as I was starting to feel a bit pushed and uncomfortable. a guy on a green 636 (er zx10) passed me and I was able to follow his lines. It felt just so incredibly good to be "as one' with a bike again.

It feels good to be back in a groove and loose those demons that have haunted me all these months.


PS--sorry for the rant

[Mikkel]

I'm sure that if you give it time and find that you are sure about getting back on you'll let the fear go eventually. My mantra for loosening up on steep nasty stuff on skis is to ask myself "what are you afraid of?"... Dunno about you, but I'm only afraid of letting myself be restricted in doing what I enjoy.

I think what you describe is the reaction of a healthy mind that has a will to persevere

[Nagash]

I have a strange (well atleast i think it is) mindset when riding.

I sort of go by ultimate trust in the gear i'm riding, as in if I do crash I ain't gonna feel a thing, i'll just slide down the road, get up and the insurance will cover me bike.

Now while this is just plain ignorance it does make me feel better about pushing myself abit further.


Though I ride a 250 cruiser.. I reckon the speeds we're talking are we bit bit different to what you experiance but i've ridden a Rocket III at high speed and had the same mind set so I imagine it's the same.

Good to see you have a bike which you can actually find enjoyable, I guess the smaller sized bikes can do that. They're more fun to ride at slow speed

[CookMySock]

FROSTY,

I've been riding larger roadbikes for only a couple of months, what you have said reflects how I feel right now. Of course, those are just the feelings part of it - you have knowledge and skill and I do not.

Perhaps it is normal to feel this apprehension after your 'off'.

Maybe that now you have the skill, you just have to again go through the "getting through the fear" part.. a normal part of learning the craft - certainly is for me.

I struggled to get past all these things in my head, and in the end I just had to accept that the bike wasn't going to flip upside down at the slightest provocation.. and it doesn't.. So I just accept it now, and take a big breath and relax - and its working! Sure, on the road this must be tempered with a healthy dose of realism, but at some point I have had to trust the bike.

Maybe you will have to go through one of these processes again. Don't give up.

You mustn't worry that anyone thinks you are slow, or unskilled.. You just take your time and start over from where you need to, and soon you will be feeling happy and safe again. Lots and lots of us are recovering from one thing or other.

best,
DB

[Big Dave]

H.T.Frosty.U.

[Steam]

You mean I'm not supposed to be afraid all the time?!?

[Disco Dan]

Frosty - there is two ways that I know of to get through a barrier like this, you can either gradually desensitize yourself (like your learning all over again to trust your bike) and gradually get used to riding quick again, or there is the 'jump in the deep end' approach - go pillion with someone you trust and that is quick...

[Usarka]

I get the fear occassionally with approaching vehicles. Witnessed a number of "crossing the centre line" incidents in the last 18 months and occasionally the old noggin plays a bad scene. man.


aint nuttin i can do about them though what will be will be....

[Ixion]

You mean I'm not supposed to be afraid all the time?!?

Be afraid. be very afriad.

Actually, whilst it might be a problem at the track

" It's the kind of terror based on years of "getting away with it"
Is that just a shiney bit of road or a Diesel spill?. Is that gravel by the roadside ahead or just different seal? Is there going to be a car coming my side of the road?"

sounds a very sensible state of mind for riding on the road.

I always ride scared. And suspicious.

[FROSTY:Me]

H.T.Frosty.U.

Thanks mate but Jorja does a good enough job at that
But thanks for the offer

[Macstar]

Frosty - there is two ways that I know of to get through a barrier like this, you can either gradually desensitize yourself (like your learning all over again to trust your bike) and gradually get used to riding quick again, or there is the 'jump in the deep end' approach - go pillion with someone you trust and that is quick...

I find the healthy fear that keeps you respecting the roads needs to be refreshed from time to time by thinking of the potential consequences. Anyway, Disco Dan is that "Pulled a muscle" or mussel?

[FROSTY:Me]

This is the only bit of the post I didnt understand. You implying you were quick at some stage Frosty?

Ony quick enough to win races--so yea good point--quickish

[Big Dave]

I fear nothing Ix.
I just regard everyone driving a car as completely stupid.

[ManDownUnder]

Pain's a great teacher isn't it?

Yeah all normal mate and good to seee you're back in the saddle doing what you enjoy. It'll come back.. bigger and better than ever

[turtleman]

As someone who has returned to biking after an absence of a few years, and previously having a fairly major binning (got T-boned by a cage), I found my feelings/attitude somewhat similar to yours, Frosty. Though I am unfamiliar with the nature of your bin, and the extent of your injuries, I can sympathise with what you're saying.
I think Ixion summed up how I feel as I'm riding - scared AND suspicious, though I find as time goes by and confidence grows it's more suspicious than scared, and I find that a fairly healthy frame of mind to be in.
It took a while to get back into the rhythm and enjoy the riding - I almost gave it away as I was almost dreading riding in traffic every day at one point. I am glad I persisted, as I'm well past the 'skittery' stage of fear now, and really starting to enjoy myself once again.

I think the fear, though abating, will never leave me totally and probably serves a good reminder of my mortality - a constant reminder to ride within my ability and comfort zone. If that means I'm to be a nana rider then so be it - I'm out there and having fun.