Unwanted attention

**CookMySock** · 27th May 2008, 11:57

Originally Posted by Tank

(again - talking generally) As far as I'm concerned even asking someone when you know they are in a relationship is a cunt of a thing to do.

Yes, many feel quite threatened. That is fair I guess. It may or may not be warranted though. If I asked you for a ride on your bike, and you thought about it for a second and then said "no", well, no means no. Oh well, what about just on the grass ? "no." Thats it then. No. What about... NO!!

Originally Posted by Tank

Funny - I have morals about that

- but not about breaking the guys jaw

.

owch. Yep, you do feel threatened.

Listen to your mrs, she likes you. She aint goin anywhere with anyone else. Ask her, and believe her when she tells you. You will see.

DB

**Tank** · 27th May 2008, 12:08

Its not about feeling threatened.

Its about respect - and anyone would would try and hit the wife up for a bit of slap and tickle knowing that she is married is showing (IMHO) the greatest possible disrespect.

I wouldn't do it to anyone else and I take great exception to anyone willing to do it to me. Being threatened doesn't even enter the equation.

The bike parallel doesnt quite work - because that's a simply object - a wife is a lot more than that (and a damn sight more expensive). I dont think I would ever get hotted up enough to hit someone over asking to take the bike for a ride.

**n0regret5** · 27th May 2008, 12:32

"i'm not gay but i could be"
"my only love is the ocean"
"can you believe i used to be a man"
etc etc

**007XX** · 27th May 2008, 12:32

Originally Posted by Tank

Its not about feeling threatened.

Its about respect - and anyone would would try and hit the wife up for a bit of slap and tickle knowing that she is married is showing (IMHO) the greatest possible disrespect.

I wouldn't do it to anyone else and I take great exception to anyone willing to do it to me. Being threatened doesn't even enter the equation.

The bike parallel doesnt quite work - because that's a simply object - a wife is a lot more than that (and a damn sight more expensive). I dont think I would ever get hotted up enough to hit someone over asking to take the bike for a ride.

I'm with you on that one...my hubby is probably THE most self secure man I know...and with rights too. Without being too biaised, he has the looks, the brains and everything else to make sure he doesn't need to feel threatened in any way shape or form.

But the thing is: our union is sacred to us. Anyone who tries to come in between us as a couple, knowing we are very happily married, is just being plain disrespectful.

I'd have no issue whatsoever with my husband taking exception to someone not respecting our boundaries as a married couple, but also because I trust him to handle it in a smart fashion...I know he'd scare the bejesus out of them quietly

**Mikkel** · 27th May 2008, 12:38

Originally Posted by Tank

Its not about feeling threatened.

Of course it is...

Originally Posted by Tank

Its about respect - and anyone would would try and hit the wife up for a bit of slap and tickle knowing that she is married is showing (IMHO) the greatest possible disrespect.

Disrespect to who? You? Your partner? Your relationship?

Originally Posted by Tank

I wouldn't do it to anyone else and I take great exception to anyone willing to do it to me. Being threatened doesn't even enter the equation.

The bike parallel doesnt quite work - because that's a simply object - a wife is a lot more than that (and a damn sight more expensive). I dont think I would ever get hotted up enough to hit someone over asking to take the bike for a ride.

Well, a wife/partner is an individual and not ones property - at least I would bloody well hope so. Actually, I would get pissed off with anyone asking me if they could have a shag with my partner - but mostly because they should be asking her, not me. Wouldn't get too upset with anyone hitting on my partner - simply because I am confident that she'd laugh at them and excuse herself.
If she obliged I'd be having a word to two with her - and by word I mean a talk...

As for my bike - anyone who took that for a ride without my consent would be likely to be discussing a theft charge with the police.

**Tank** · 27th May 2008, 13:01

Originally Posted by Mikkel

Of course it is...

In my best English pantomime voice ... "oh no it isn't"

Originally Posted by Mikkel

Disrespect to who? You? Your partner? Your relationship?

Actually all three

Originally Posted by Mikkel

If she obliged I'd be having a word to two with her - and by word I mean a talk...

Just to clarify - I wasn't condoning (or suggesting) spousal abuse. I watch TV - I know its not OK (But it is OK to ask for help)

**Mikkel** · 27th May 2008, 13:09

Originally Posted by Tank

In my best English pantomime voice ... "oh no it isn't"

Yes it is!

Originally Posted by Tank

Actually all three

Thought you'd think so... Just making sure.

Originally Posted by Tank

Just to clarify - I wasn't condoning (or suggesting) spousal abuse. I watch TV - I know its not OK (But it is OK to ask for help)

Of course you weren't. But the term 'having a word' with someone has been used as a metaphor for roughing up someone earlier in this thread. I just wanted to make sure that noone were tempted to assume that I was even contemplating spousal abuse. That, and to point out that beating someone to a pulp isn't going to help anything, ever.

**Tank** · 27th May 2008, 13:13

Originally Posted by Mikkel

and to point out that beating someone to a pulp isn't going to help anything, ever.

But it does make you feel better.

Right up until:

a) you get arrested, or

b) you realise that you have really hurt the guy and start panicking that you killed him, or

c) you find out hes better than you and he kicks your ass.

gesh - your right - it dosnt help much does it.

**jrandom** · 27th May 2008, 13:15

Originally Posted by Tank

I'm confident in my relationship (married 13 years last week) - but Ive still had 'words' with a friend of a friend who thought my wife might be up for a afternoon shag while Im at work.

Y'know, the other day, circumstances caused me to ponder the question of what percentage of guys would consider themselves honour-bound not to shag another guy's missus, even if she was up for it.

(A friend of Stickchick's packed a bit of a sad when he found out that she was in Wellington with me last weekend, as opposed to on her own - thought he'd get a go, y'see. D'oh. Sorry mate.)

Anyway, I'd love to know the general position of the male population in that regard.

In fact, I might go put up a poll right now...

**007XX** · 27th May 2008, 13:18

Oh me thinks I'm going to like that poll

I wonder how many guys will actually reply truthfully!

**CookMySock** · 27th May 2008, 13:32

Originally Posted by Mikkel

Well, a wife/partner is an individual and not ones property - at least I would bloody well hope so. Actually, I would get pissed off with anyone asking me if they could have a shag with my partner - but mostly because they should be asking her, not me. Wouldn't get too upset with anyone hitting on my partner - simply because I am confident that she'd laugh at them and excuse herself.
If she obliged I'd be having a word to two with her - and by word I mean a talk...

As for my bike - anyone who took that for a ride without my consent would be likely to be discussing a theft charge with the police.

Zactly, zactly, zactly. Takes most couples about 20 years to sort this crap out. Pity it takes so long.

"you must spread some more rep around before giving it to Mikkel" bah

DB

**Dilligaf** · 27th May 2008, 15:57

Originally Posted by Mikkel

Of course it is...

Disrespect to who? You? Your partner? Your relationship?

Well, a wife/partner is an individual and not ones property - at least I would bloody well hope so. Actually, I would get pissed off with anyone asking me if they could have a shag with my partner - but mostly because they should be asking her, not me. Wouldn't get too upset with anyone hitting on my partner - simply because I am confident that she'd laugh at them and excuse herself.
If she obliged I'd be having a word to two with her - and by word I mean a talk...

As for my bike - anyone who took that for a ride without my consent would be likely to be discussing a theft charge with the police.

Actually Mikkel, I agree with Tank. Lovely for you and your Missus that you are strong and secure in each other, but many people don't have that luxury. And I have met too many barracuda type men who feed on insecure (though married) women and manipulate their weaknesses.
(and before you all get judgemental - yes I agree that if you're married then you are responsible for respecting that bond, but I have seen women who have got young kids, worried about their new somewhat flabby body, worn out and feeling unappreciated and then some man with the slickest moves and the right words come along. Like a shark to blood).

**Mikkel** · 27th May 2008, 16:12

Originally Posted by Dilligaf

Actually Mikkel, I agree with Tank. Lovely for you and your Missus that you are strong and secure in each other, but many people don't have that luxury. And I have met too many barracuda type men who feed on insecure (though married) women and manipulate their weaknesses.
(and before you all get judgemental - yes I agree that if you're married then you are responsible for respecting that bond, but I have seen women who have got young kids, worried about their new somewhat flabby body, worn out and feeling unappreciated and then some man with the slickest moves and the right words come along. Like a shark to blood).

It Looks Like You Give A Fuck

But yes, what you describe is despicable behaviour indeed. If it succeeds though, it is also partly the husbands fault for letting their woman get into that state of mind in the first place. They say that behind every strong man is a good woman - the opposite is also true. In a good relationship you use your strength to be a good partner...

I don't think it's only men that come as the barracuda type though...