Young death - Donations

**alexm** · 25th September 2009, 18:53

hi guys,
posted update on the visitor part of alexs profile.was feeling a bit better in the morning but then had to say goodbye to alex and trouble with his sister trying to hurt me..read the update.again thanks to you all

**alexm** · 25th September 2009, 19:12

also, I am going to post my account details up on the visitor page. everyone seems trustworthy and kind here, and it will save patrick some trouble.thanks

**Sharry** · 25th September 2009, 23:04

Anika it is great to see you posting. I can only imagin what you are going through, you have showen more strength than you might think you have. Alex will be so proud of you.

Keep focusing on one day at a time, one hour or one event at a time and you will get through this

**caseye** · 25th September 2009, 23:26

Hey Anika, Din is not just any man, he has a wonderful wife who never tells him he can;'t do something and between them they have seven Children, yep I said 7.
That man is as tough as they come,many here know him as a friend,I;m pleasaed to be able to say he is a freind of mine and I'm certain that you can count him as one too.
He does do the most amazing things for his fellow riders/KB'ers, like and for instance, turning up unannounced at your home.When you get to meet him, you'll understand how amazing he really is.
Take Care in the days to come and when the time comes I just know you'll give that big ol Din a great big hug, just for caring enough.
It's great to see your posts and to hear how you are doing, I'm sure Connor is being well looked after and that together you and that little guy will come through it all.
Don't forget we're here, some have offered help in the form of dollars and cents, others have offered their shoulders and ears, still others have offered clothes, toys and as much love and respect as you can handle.
Please don't be afraid to simply ask for any of the things offered they will be given gladly.
Remember to that there are those here in these very threads who have suffered as you have and who are now in a position to be strong enough to reach out to you and offer their own personal help and time in whatever practical way they can, make use of em Anika, it's going to assist you and to some degree helping you will make their own burdens a little lighter, if they see you getting better and better and can say I helped another person face what I have.

**Mort** · 26th September 2009, 00:15

Way to go Anika - live your life one day at a time and love that boy. Keep posting.

**DIN PELENDA** · 26th September 2009, 01:58

Originally Posted by caseye

Hey Anika, Din is not just any man, he has a wonderful wife who never tells him he can;'t do something and between them they have seven Children, yep I said 7.
That man is as tough as they come,many here know him as a friend,I;m pleasaed to be able to say he is a freind of mine and I'm certain that you can count him as one too.
He does do the most amazing things for his fellow riders/KB'ers, like and for instance, turning up unannounced at your home.When you get to meet him, you'll understand how amazing he really is.
Take Care in the days to come and when the time comes I just know you'll give that big ol Din a great big hug, just for caring enough.
It's great to see your posts and to hear how you are doing, I'm sure Connor is being well looked after and that together you and that little guy will come through it all.
Don't forget we're here, some have offered help in the form of dollars and cents, others have offered their shoulders and ears, still others have offered clothes, toys and as much love and respect as you can handle.
Please don't be afraid to simply ask for any of the things offered they will be given gladly.
Remember to that there are those here in these very threads who have suffered as you have and who are now in a position to be strong enough to reach out to you and offer their own personal help and time in whatever practical way they can, make use of em Anika, it's going to assist you and to some degree helping you will make their own burdens a little lighter, if they see you getting better and better and can say I helped another person face what I have.

Thanks for your comment my friend and thank you all KB's for your support and unity, that is nice, you guys rock and say it all

. So I was worried about Anika and had to see her physically after her post at 5.45am I was at work 6pm to 6am and I use to work for "raftn" same work place as Alex , I gone and ask him for Anika whereabout to make sure she is OK. I didn't get to meet you Anika but was talking to your mum for some time and she is very caring and nice lady . I can see how hard this is for her and I can just imagine how hard it is for you Anika, she told me you have taking some pills to try to get some sleep. I know you are not selfish you just got so much love for Alex we all see that and we all share your pain.
In each one of my kids there is big part of me. That is truth what they say, that big part of Alex is in Connor you will see that as he growing up as person and you will grow even stronger with him, so Connor will need that love from you he wont found that anywhere else, so please take care of yourself and Connor. I will send you PM and come to see you again if that is OK .

Din

**Grahameeboy** · 26th September 2009, 06:12

Originally Posted by DIN PELENDA

Thanks for your comment my friend and thank you all KB's for your support and unity, that is nice, you guys rock and say it all

. So I was worried about Anika and had to see her physically after her post at 5.45am I was at work 6pm to 6am and I use to work for "raftn" same work place as Alex , I gone and ask him for Anika whereabout to make sure she is OK. I didn't get to meet you Anika but was talking to your mum for some time and she is very caring and nice lady . I can see how hard this is for her and I can just imagine how hard it is for you Anika, she told me you have taking some pills to try to get some sleep. I know you are not selfish you just got so much love for Alex we all see that and we all share your pain.
In each one of my kids there is big part of me. That is truth what they say, that big part of Alex is in Connor you will see that as he growing up as person and you will grow even stronger with him, so Connor will need that love from you he wont found that anywhere else, so please take care of yourself and Connor. I will send you PM and come to see you again if that is OK .

Din

It was 5 kids Saturday when I saw you....how do you manage the extra 2 working shifts.....

**GOONR** · 26th September 2009, 21:54

Hey Beautiful girl, Im goonrs Mrs and I just wanted to reach out to you mum to mum. I cant even begin to imagine how you feel right now. Our heart breaks for you. I once had a friend who felt the same as you, and I remember saying to her, your Mum loves you the way you love that wee one of yours, let her help you. I wish I still had my mum even for the basic things, but this is so big and no one expects you to tough it alone, least of all you mum.
Be strong Petal and be strong for Connor. By being the best Mum you could ever be for him you are still being the best wife you could ever be for Alex, the amazing mum and beautiful person that he fell in love with. I know you cant begin to imagine this right now, but like as everyone one else on here says, you wont forget, and one day you will learn to celebrate Alex's life and his love will be the warm glow in your heart and always a fond memory. xx

**alexm** · 27th September 2009, 16:01

dont know how to go on anymore..i dont think i can handle looking after connor alone when my mum goes back to work.im scared to be alone i dont trust myself. i dont wana live with my mum again but i know i cant live alone. i dont know how to go home and sort out mine and alexs things.i can barely bring myself to eat, to shower..how can I go to winz and call acc etc. i know i need to cuz even with all the donations the money is going to be all gone on the 3 weeks rent i'll have to pay before moving out.i feel overwhelmed and i still havent really given into reality and keep believing alex is going to come home

**Katman** · 27th September 2009, 16:11

Originally Posted by alexm

how can I go to winz and call acc etc. i know i need to cuz even with all the donations the money is going to be all gone on the 3 weeks rent i'll have to pay before moving out.

(At the risk of copping a flaming), quite frankly I think you're placing rather more importance on receiving other peoples donations than should be considered seemly.

**Quasi** · 27th September 2009, 16:15

Originally Posted by alexm

dont know how to go on anymore..i dont think i can handle looking after connor alone when my mum goes back to work.im scared to be alone i dont trust myself. i dont wana live with my mum again but i know i cant live alone. i dont know how to go home and sort out mine and alexs things.i can barely bring myself to eat, to shower..how can I go to winz and call acc etc. i know i need to cuz even with all the donations the money is going to be all gone on the 3 weeks rent i'll have to pay before moving out.i feel overwhelmed and i still havent really given into reality and keep believing alex is going to come home

Hey Anika, you have done so well so far, but try not to think too far ahead and just take everything really slowly. Try not to focus on all the things that you think need to be done. At this stage, just focus on yourself and Conor. getting through each day, or even just getting through the next hour. . Let someone else take care of the other stuff for you for now. Your priority is you and Conor. Have you got a support person who can come and talk with you, Take five minutes, to just go and walk outside, soak up the sun and fresh air. Try and stop thinking too much, hard tho it may be. Keep on breathing deep breaths. Remember that there is a huge amount of support here on KB for you, and its great that you are reaching out to us and telling us when it feels like its getting too tough for you. Remember Mystics words - small steps, just do it all with small steps.

**paddy** · 27th September 2009, 16:36

Originally Posted by Katman

(At the risk of copping a flaming), quite frankly I think you're placing rather more importance on receiving other peoples donations than should be regarded seemly.

In some ways I agree with Katman. Don't think of the donations in terms of money - think of them in terms of support and the sentiment to help you that is out there. Yes the money will eventually be used, but you have many offers of support here. I think there have been quite a few that have sent you PMs and I am sure there will be people that will walk alongside you quite literally. Go with you to WINZ. Help you deal with ACC. Help you to find the help that you need.

I am going to summarise some of those offers down into one PM soon that I will distribute appropriately (just in case you didn't see them all).

One hour at a time Anika. Little steps.

**caseye** · 27th September 2009, 16:39

Keep those steps as small as they need to be Anika, one thing at a time, don't stress about anything, look after youself and Connor first and foremost.
TGM has told you not to hesitate about ringing/PMing her if things get tough others here have done the same.
Please don't hesitate to reach out and say what is troubling you, I'm sure someone here will be able to help specifically with what it is.

**Genestho** · 27th September 2009, 18:08

Originally Posted by alexm

dont know how to go on anymore..i dont think i can handle looking after connor alone when my mum goes back to work.im scared to be alone i dont trust myself. i dont wana live with my mum again but i know i cant live alone. i dont know how to go home and sort out mine and alexs things.i can barely bring myself to eat, to shower..how can I go to winz and call acc etc. i know i need to cuz even with all the donations the money is going to be all gone on the 3 weeks rent i'll have to pay before moving out.i feel overwhelmed and i still havent really given into reality and keep believing alex is going to come home

Hey Anika.

I'm just trying to find out about advocacy for you, so someone can step in and do the hard yards on your behalf, I have a girlfriend that used Barnados to deal with WINZ. Unfortunately the helpline is closed. Barnados helpline is open at 9am.

Freephone: 0800 4 Parent (0800 4727368)
Auckland callers: (09) 6250562

* Freephone between 9am and 5pm weekdays or leave a message and we will get back to you.