Lest we forget... New Zealand's shame

[Winston001]

I was asking Winston's motive was for starting the thread and then later lamenting the predictable venomous/vengeful/simplistic/blaming/racist/axe-grinding/confused/apathetic responses.

Can't recall lamenting anything, usually I wait a while to see what others say.

My motive? Guess I just snapped. I've been horrified at the continuing violence against children ever since Delcilia Witika in 1991. Sadly these tragedies tend to be dealt with by the public one at a time, and our memories fade.

I've always wanted a comprehensive list of the most well-known cases so I could reflect on the totality of lives destroyed. Found some data today, and here we are.

Forums like this are quite different to talk-back radio. For one thing, to use an internet forum you need a certain level of education and ability to express yourself - not that it's always obvious.

Also there are some very intelligent and thoughtful people here whose views are valuable. Sharing ideas and experiences - eg Mom's heartfelt post above - is crucial in any society and this is a good place to do it.

[Mom]

I always made my kids memorise my phone number. They knew no matter what if they rang it someone would come help them.

I had one family of three kids for 15 months, they were going back to their mother. As foster parents we are not allowed to know anything about how these kids fare back in their families. The eldest boy was crying, he was 11. I said to him, "you may not remember our names, you may not remember the town, you may not remember the school you went to, but I promise you, you will never forget us!" He wont either.

I have had one phone call from a foster child gone back, about 6 months after, he rang from Australia to say he had a new "cocky" (cockatile). After a few moments he said his Dad was coming for a visit. I reassured him it would go well, and to ring me if it didn't. Never heard from him again...LOL

I have had one phone call from a social worker. She brought me up to speed with what the outcome for one family was. I thanked her for that.

You can make a difference you know, it is all about commitment and perserverance and sheer bloody mindedness. Pity of it is you get no support for trying. I dont foster anymore.

[short-circuit]

Nah - didn't mean it...some sucker for punishment part of me can't seem to stay away for long. It's similar to how despite myself I open the Herald in the morning or turn on the news at night. Never been able to endure talkback though.

As for rep - it doesn't really bother me either. In fact I'm rather proud of my ratio 7 red to 15 green in my short KB tenure (being a lefty and a shit stirrer it's par for the course). The red bling distributors amuse me (especially the anonymous ones)

[short-circuit]

Can't recall lamenting anything

That was me doing the lamenting as I knew what would follow as soon as I read the thread title

[Mom]

Nah - didn't mean it...some sucker for punishment part of me can't seem to stay away for long. It's similar to how despite myself I open the Herald in the morning or turn on the news at night. Never been able to endure talkback though.

As for rep - it doesn't really bother me either. In fact I'm rather proud of my ratio 7 red to 15 green in my short KB tenure (being a lefty and a shit stirrer it's par for the course). The red bling distributors amuse me (especially the anonymous ones)

Glad it amuses you, I have not red repped you FWIW, you are not worth the effort, either contribute something worthwhile to this thread or go away! Your constant off topic posts are becoming annoying.

[short-circuit]

Glad it amuses you, I have not red repped you FWIW, you are not worth the effort, either contribute something worthwhile to this thread or go away! Your constant off topic posts are becoming annoying.

Sorry I'll leave you to your therapy in peace

[Winston001]

As for rep - it doesn't really bother me either. In fact I'm rather proud of my ratio 7 red to 15 green in my short KB tenure (being a lefty and a shit stirrer it's par for the course). The red bling distributors amuse me (especially the anonymous ones)

You can't see who repped you until you've racked up 140 posts (I think).

You do care about this - but you think that because this is a bikers forum, all discussion will inevitably be low-brow knee-jerk hang the child-abusers. Not so.

Instead there are foster parents, police, social workers, journalists, psychiatric nurses, etc etc here who do understand this tortuous subject - and have thoughtful contributions to make.

We aren't going to save the world but maybe, just maybe, someone will have a great idea and others will pick up on it.

[Mom]

Sorry I'll leave you to your therapy in peace

MMMMMMMM massage therapy is my fave Stick around the forum a bit longer mate, you may actually find it broadens your horizons

We aren't going to save the world but maybe, just maybe, someone will have a great idea and others will pick up on it.

Lets hope so anyway!

[Skyryder]

(being a lefty and a shit stirrer it's par for the course). The red bling distributors amuse me (especially the anonymous ones)

Skyryder

[candor]

I have personal knowledge of case 3 on the first post. The killer Mum was certainly not to blame. It was trial by media and the lynch her mob.

She killed her beautiful daughter of about 6.

Recounting it to my memory - a while since I heard the horror story being mulled over and over by a traumatised family member. Mum had not wanted the daughter back being a schizophrenic in a bad relationship, who was often homeless with bad addictions, and who had just got out of prison.

CYPs insisted.

Many in the wider family / whanau strongly and repeatedly expressed that this would be UNSAFE. Their calls, letters and views were ignored. Mum was delusional.

CYPs then tried to get the wider family to take the girl. None were able themselves right then due to all having varying degrees of problems or jobs that did not enable taking up this responsibility (in case of the family member I know well).

CYPs said that they'd give her to the mother - all again objected in every possible way.

Wider family was not in close contact with the mother (too difficult to maintain relationship with). A couple of weeks or so later they heard the girl HAD been placed with the clearly unsuitable Mum who had not wanted to take her - and was DEAD. Can you imagine?

The wider family who loved the little girl, despite not having and knowing they did not have resources to take the kid, have deep grief and carry the murder vics photos with them all the time. In the blink of an eye CYPs sneakily pulled this one.

The media painted the entire family as evil reprobates. They are not. CYPs was the guilty party 100%, with its determination to put Maori kids with their whanau - at any price, even if prospective "caregivers" are clearly well documented card carrying crazies.

The word MUM does not equal "right place to go," as CYPs must learn.

Two decades ago the child would have been placed in long term fostering. Politial correctness and "cultural safety" agendas stopped such high levels of intervention. Its all about self determination. We don't need paternalism said the academics, on behalf of those of other cultures and of those with mental health issues - let us look after our own issues. The State must answer for too often wiping its hands.

[SARGE]

Jyniah Te Awa age 10 months.......beaten to death by her caregiver for being ugly

sweet jebus im in trouble..


seriously.. paint the fuckheads that do that day-glo green and chuck them onto with the streets and tell everyone they are full of lollies and gold coins

[Mom]

The State must answer for too often wiping its hands.

The needs and welfare of the child are paramount! *cough*bullshit*cough*

[Skyryder]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/crime/news...bjectid=148329


Maybe Candor has point.


Skyryder

[mstriumph]

first thought was i would severely damage anyone i caught abusing an ANIMAL, let alone a child .... irrespective of any 'reason' they have for doing it ..... there's no excuse, none.

my second thought is the memory of when i was trying, on my own, a brand new mother caring for a brand new prem. daughter ... who had to be fed two-hourly and who screamed and vomited for what seemed for 3 days solid [the Doctor said she was fine and i'd just have to learn to 'manage' her ......] she wouldn't be comforted no matter what i did .......... i was so tired - i just wanted it to stop

did i hurt her? no, of course not [i fell into an exhausted sleep eventually and so did she - things were fine after that ....]

but i can still remember [and still feel guilty about] how i JUST WANTED IT TO STOP

i obviously wasn't taken to my limits - but perhaps some people are .... when they have no support, no way out .......... and no-one to give a hand or throw them a lifeline .....

third thought ... none of us live in a vacuum ----- where were the neighbours? the health workers? ..... do we so sincerely fear being thought interfering that we'd let a child suffer when we could stop it by speaking up? [or, better, introducing ourselves into the situation to see if we can lend a hand if someone seems near the end of their tether ?

fourth thought ... why is it that, for most jobs, one needs training, qualifications, etc but that for the most important job of all - having and raising children - one needs nothing at all except a partner with a contrasting set of genetailia and a few moments of privacy? hmmmm?

[piston broke]

i don't even want to read past post 1.so i won't.
shit like that just breaks my heart.
rip all you lil ones