Dumb things bikers do without bikes.

[martybabe]

Real funny prank call - the firemen all had a big laugh about it and got back into drinking... except it wasn't a prank call. It burned. To the ground. Needless to say the fire engines burned with it. Talk about a bad hangover?

Hey mikkel, we had a similar shout. Respond to fire station well alight,persons reported. Yeah right ! so we took off sunday driver stylie, smoking, eating toast etc, eventualy got there after stopping off for news papers,lollys n stuff and the place is going like the bollocks.

Turns out, thier truck had gone to a crash somewhere and left one bloke in charge of the barbie on the back lawn, He'd thrown petrol on the bloody thing, set fire to himself and the whole of the back of the fire station.

Oh how we laughed, Hey I guess that makes him captain stoopid.I feel much better now.

[Headbanger]

When I was a Fireman I asked around to see if anyone had a wetsuit for sale cause I'm a tight bastard,.

Just about the funniest story I have ever read, Tried to give ya some bling but it says I have to share some around first.

[Blue Velvet]

PIXPLS

[martybabe]

PIXPLS

Ha, you wish, fortunately nobody was expecting the human condom, a bit like the Spanish inquisition, So no actual photographic record, thank god.

I had you in mind when I wrote this. Now come on BV, tell Daddy how silly you've been, come on fess up,your an angel in my eyes but I know you've done Bad things.

[Mikkel]

Oh how we laughed, Hey I guess that makes him captain stoopid.I feel much better now.

Fuck that is hilarious. A fire fighter who can't manage to pour petrol on a BBQ without setting himself and the surroundings on fire is worthless!!!

DUN DUN DAAAA - Captain Stoopid!

[007XX]

I had you in mind when I wrote this. Now come on BV, tell Daddy how silly you've been, come on fess up,your an angel in my eyes but I know you've done Bad things.

Of course she's an angel...*and I'm sister twice removed of the current pope*



Bling awarded Mr MB...that was a very good story!

[martybabe]

Of course she's an angel...*and I'm sister twice removed of the current pope*

:ROFL:

Bling awarded Mr MB...that was a very good story!

she is too an angel. Now then 007xx, of all the stories in all the world.I'm guessing you've got a mthrfckr to tell.

Peeps have been very kind on this thread but the stoooopid confessions are a bit noticeable by there absence.

If I could only read one more, it would be yours, come on babe,I gotta know.

Yours in anticipation. MB :ROFL:

[007XX]

she is too an angel. Now then 007xx, of all the stories in all the world.I'm guessing you've got a mthrfckr to tell.

Peeps have been very kind on this thread but the stoooopid confessions are a bit noticeable by there absence.

If I could only read one more, it would be yours, come on babe,I gotta know.

Yours in anticipation. MB :ROFL:

cheeky bugger! I did think that posting on this thread was going to land me in hot water...

I think the worst one would be when I participated in a cheerleading event for a soccer team in France.

I was about 16 and living in paris for a few months as my OE.

I had the pleasure and fortune of flatting with a girlfriend, whose Sugar Daddy was kind enough to look the other way at our mad antics and indulge us when we decided that we would make awesome cheerleaders.
Nothing wrong with the idea, since he was the owner of the team, and basically bullied the cheerleader coach into letting us have a go.

Being both dancers in those days, we pulled it off and were as happy as Larry when the big day of the game came about, and we were able to go backstage to get ready.

Now, my girlfriend was a mischievous one indeed, and while I was no angel, she always seemed to come up with the best ideas first.

Her latest one that day: sneak into the team's shower and have a bit of a perv at them yummy young athletes.

I took a bit of convincing (yes, I know...amazing, but true!), but finally got up the courage to slide into the males' cahnging rooms...just as the friggin' coach opens the door and sees me there, standing like a moron, babbling for an excuse of sort that would make some kind of sense...

My girlfriend had by some miracle decided to disappear faster than the wind, leaving me to deal with my crimson face and the shame of being a perv...

[zooter]

Thanks for the laugh Marty.

My storytelling doesn't compare but I'll lay it out:
There was this possum that liked to sit up a tree outside my bedroom and do his whole "come here you sexy beast" possum grunt thing, night after night. One day I come home in my $1000 car and there he is right in my headlights as I'm turning into the drive. He starts to go up a wooden power pole but stops at bumper height and stares into the headlights. Ha ha, "gotcha" methinks and I "charge" the fucker only have him shimmy up another foot, thereby removing the furry meat cushion between my bumper and said power pole. Thankfully no significant damage.

[martybabe]

cheeky bugger! I did think that posting on this thread was going to land me in hot water...

leaving me to deal with my crimson face and the shame of being a perv...

: I knew it, your sooo naughty. Oh ground swallow me up.

Thanks for the laugh Marty.

My storytelling doesn't compare but I'll lay it out:
There was this possum that liked to sit up a tree outside my bedroom and do his whole "come here you sexy beast" possum grunt thing, night after night. One day I come home in my $1000 car and there he is right in my headlights as I'm turning into the drive. He starts to go up a wooden power pole but stops at bumper height and stares into the headlights. Ha ha, "gotcha" methinks and I "charge" the fucker only have him shimmy up another foot, thereby removing the furry meat cushion between my bumper and said power pole. Thankfully no significant damage.

li'll blighter, I hope he never got any sminky pinky.

[steveb64]

Hmmm - been scratching my head, trying to think of which of the great selection to choose from... ...and out of the mists came this one...

Was living in Russia (Moscow), missus and I were doing contract work for USAID - and she was out of the country (over Stateside, with some trainees) - so I was doing the batchelor thing... sitting playing Civilisation, working my way through a rather nice bottle of Sauterne (I liked sweet sticky wines back then), when the hunger pangs began to set in. Had a bit of a rat around in the cupboards, and came up with this tinned pie. Yep, a pie in a tin (NOT a Russian idea - American, from an American food/grocery store - in Moscow). Read the instructions, a couple of times - "Heat in oven for 60 minutes."
So, into oven, which was a crappy gas thing, with an unregulated supply, so cooking times/temperatures tended to vary dependant on how many people in our part of the building were using their stoves.
Go back to game, and wine.
About an hour later, hunger pangs were getting quite sharp, so looked at watch - "Hmmm, dinner should be just about ready by now!" - at which point, there was a LARGE (actually, more like HUGE explosion! FUCK! The whole building (all 5 stories) bounced up and down! SHIT! The fucking stoves blown up!
Leap into the kitchen - and WHAT A BLOODY MESS! : The oven door was blown open - out flat - and the contents of the tinned pie were distributed all over the opposite wall, and the ceiling, and the floor, and over anywhere/thing else that was in the direct firing line. All I could do was laugh. Just about pissed meself in fact - as I was scraping bits of pie off the walls and ceiling...
Once I'd finished that lovely little task - extracted the remains of the pie from the oven. Read top of tin - again. "Warning: REMOVE PIE FROM TIN BEFORE COOKING!"

[McDuck]

Hmmm - been scratching my head, trying to think of which of the great selection to choose from... ...and out of the mists came this one...

Was living in Russia (Moscow), missus and I were doing contract work for USAID - and she was out of the country (over Stateside, with some trainees) - so I was doing the batchelor thing... sitting playing Civilisation, working my way through a rather nice bottle of Sauterne (I liked sweet sticky wines back then), when the hunger pangs began to set in. Had a bit of a rat around in the cupboards, and came up with this tinned pie. Yep, a pie in a tin (NOT a Russian idea - American, from an American food/grocery store - in Moscow). Read the instructions, a couple of times - "Heat in oven for 60 minutes."
So, into oven, which was a crappy gas thing, with an unregulated supply, so cooking times/temperatures tended to vary dependant on how many people in our part of the building were using their stoves.
Go back to game, and wine.
About an hour later, hunger pangs were getting quite sharp, so looked at watch - "Hmmm, dinner should be just about ready by now!" - at which point, there was a LARGE (actually, more like HUGE explosion! FUCK! The whole building (all 5 stories) bounced up and down! SHIT! The fucking stoves blown up!
Leap into the kitchen - and WHAT A BLOODY MESS! : The oven door was blown open - out flat - and the contents of the tinned pie were distributed all over the opposite wall, and the ceiling, and the floor, and over anywhere/thing else that was in the direct firing line. All I could do was laugh. Just about pissed meself in fact - as I was scraping bits of pie off the walls and ceiling...
Once I'd finished that lovely little task - extracted the remains of the pie from the oven. Read top of tin - again. "Warning: REMOVE PIE FROM TIN BEFORE COOKING!"

I would bling you if i were not so infractered. (quote RM)

[Livvy]

Well Steve, look at it like this, if you'd gone into the kitchen two minutes earlier and tried to open it then it probably would have been you smeared all over the walls... Or some of you, anyway!

[martybabe]

Hmmm - been scratching my head, trying to think of which of the great selection to choose from... ...and out of the mists came this one...

Was living in Russia (Moscow), missus and I were doing contract work for USAID - and she was out of the country (over Stateside, with some trainees) - so I was doing the batchelor thing... sitting playing Civilisation, working my way through a rather nice bottle of Sauterne (I liked sweet sticky wines back then), when the hunger pangs began to set in. Had a bit of a rat around in the cupboards, and came up with this tinned pie. Yep, a pie in a tin (NOT a Russian idea - American, from an American food/grocery store - in Moscow). Read the instructions, a couple of times - "Heat in oven for 60 minutes."
So, into oven, which was a crappy gas thing, with an unregulated supply, so cooking times/temperatures tended to vary dependant on how many people in our part of the building were using their stoves.
Go back to game, and wine.
About an hour later, hunger pangs were getting quite sharp, so looked at watch - "Hmmm, dinner should be just about ready by now!" - at which point, there was a LARGE (actually, more like HUGE explosion! FUCK! The whole building (all 5 stories) bounced up and down! SHIT! The fucking stoves blown up!
Leap into the kitchen - and WHAT A BLOODY MESS! : The oven door was blown open - out flat - and the contents of the tinned pie were distributed all over the opposite wall, and the ceiling, and the floor, and over anywhere/thing else that was in the direct firing line. All I could do was laugh. Just about pissed meself in fact - as I was scraping bits of pie off the walls and ceiling...
Once I'd finished that lovely little task - extracted the remains of the pie from the oven. Read top of tin - again. "Warning: REMOVE PIE FROM TIN BEFORE COOKING!"

Thats what I'm talking about. Steve,your my hero.

Your not alone though, our new highly skilled cook/ ex cleaner did the same with a can of baked beans. whacked em in the oven and in the fulness of time blew the cooker to kingdom come. Why? "it said baked on the tin so I baked em" $3000 of new cattering size oven ! I think she's gone back to cleaning now.

[steveb64]

Just found a picture of a tinned pie - from the Jokes area...?

http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/at...6&d=1203655189

The one my tale relates to was a different brand AFAIK, but same (or very similar) size... Don't half make a mess...