Excuses to speed/A reason to speed

**dasser** · 27th March 2007, 16:21

A Lower Hutt senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of
the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 100
kph,enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the Hutt motorway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he
sawa police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly nutcase as
he floored it to 120 kph, then 130, then 140 kph.

Suddenly, he thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!"

So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car
to catchup with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's
side of theBMW, looked at his watch and said,

"Sir, my shift ends in
10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If
you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard
before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing
her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

**Quartermile** · 27th March 2007, 16:25

Oh, Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiper............

**kiwifruit** · 27th March 2007, 16:28

heh =)

**Kendog** · 27th March 2007, 16:37

Originally Posted by Quartermile

Oh, Sniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiper............

I have been a member here for a little while now and have not seen this joke before, I am glad it was posted.

dasser, that is damn funny, loved it.

**Quartermile** · 27th March 2007, 16:45

Originally Posted by Kendog

I have been a member here for a little while now and have not seen this joke before, I am glad it was posted.

dasser, that is damn funny, loved it.

Sorry then

last time I said that Sniper was like Grrrrrrr

**Kendog** · 27th March 2007, 16:46

Originally Posted by Quartermile

Sorry then

last time I said that Sniper was like Grrrrrrr

No worries dude.

**Macktheknife** · 27th March 2007, 17:23

Actually it is a repost, I know, I posted it!
But it has been a little while so what the hell, and it is a good joke.

**Quartermile** · 27th March 2007, 17:26

Originally Posted by Macktheknife

Actually it is a repost, I know, I posted it!
But it has been a little while so what the hell, and it is a good joke.

Shit i was sarting to panic a bit there,whew thanks mack

**Beemer** · 27th March 2007, 17:47

Oh Dasser, we know you know some original jokes, so we'll let you off for your minor transgressions! But Sniper is watching...!

**peasea** · 27th March 2007, 18:31

Heard the 'pooh' joke?

This guy was gardening, taking some time out with his toddler daughter when she stopped what she was doing and asked; "Daddy, where does pooh come from?"

Taken aback somewhat the guy thinks for a moment and replies "Well, sweetheart, when you eat all your dinner your body takes what it needs to grow then the waste comes out of your bottom as pooh"

The little girl looks at her dad with her face all screwed up.

"Ooh, that's disgusting; so where does Tigger come from?"

**dasser** · 28th March 2007, 09:02

I did do a search and didn't see it. I was going to post this ...

I was riding my bike down the motorway, With a twist of my wrist I was doing 120 kph,enjoying the sound of the pipes.
"Amazing!" I thought as I flew down the Hutt motorway, I twisted the wrist even more. Looking in my mirror, I
saw a police car behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.

"I can get away from him - no problem!" I thought as
the speedo climbed to 130 kph, then 140, then 150 kph. Suddenly, I
thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So
I pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car
to catchup to me.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to my bike, looked at his watch he said,
"Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

I, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years
ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing
her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

**Beemer** · 28th March 2007, 11:16

Originally Posted by Virago

Great joke - first time I've seen it.

The Repost Pedants need to lighten up and get a life - we don't all spend all day on here reading everything that's posted.

Most of us don't either - but the time we do spend on here is often spent clicking in and out of threads, only to discover they are repeats of something that was posted often only a week earlier. The search function is surprisingly effective - the only time it fails is when people change parts of a joke or whatever to include local content. If you enter in some of the joke it will invariably come up with threads containing those words.

And we know Dasser can come up with some new jokes, he's done it often! However, this particular joke has been doing the email rounds for about five years...

**RT527** · 22nd April 2007, 19:20

A senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible out of the car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he floored it to 90 Mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down the Highway, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, All lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly Nutcase as he floored it to 110mph, then 120, then 130mph.

Suddenly, he thought, "What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!" So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Police car to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the police officer walked up to the driver's side of the BMW, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 10 minutes. Today is Friday and I'm taking off for the weekend. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, Sir," said the policeman

**Sniper** · 22nd April 2007, 20:36

Sir, Im afraid you have http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...man#post992463

**riffer** · 22nd April 2007, 21:44

Interestingly though Stu - from a couple of posts earlier in the thread you pointed too, which contained the original version of the joke, was this little gem:

Originally Posted by Virago

Great joke - first time I've seen it.

The Repost Pedants need to lighten up and get a life - we don't all spend all day on here reading everything that's posted.

Seems fitting, doesn't it...