My first 1000km

**zeocen** · 13th April 2007, 01:04

Damn you bastards that don't have work tomorrow.

Have a good ride!

**Winter** · 13th April 2007, 07:50

heh.

Hey we better be extra careful riding today... Its wet, its windy,and its friday the 13th!

**gijoe1313** · 13th April 2007, 08:05

And watch out for sidereal warp gates that will take you into the twilight zone! Oh goody, ride is still on

**Trudes** · 13th April 2007, 08:30

Originally Posted by TerminalAddict

Skelsy and Trudsy ..... oh dear

this is why I don't live down south right?
you two make sure you don't give hornet riders a bad name .. y'hear ?

Oh we'd never Termyaddys, we're raising the Horny reputation!

**Northpoint** · 13th April 2007, 08:35

Friday the 13th... doodoodoodoodoodoo

**Lucy** · 13th April 2007, 20:27

So how was the ride guys? And Zeocen, don't blame work, we know what the real problem is.......

You have a dodgy mattress, it keeps threatening to fly away, so you need to keep lying on it to stop it escaping. Am I right? Or am I right?

**gijoe1313** · 13th April 2007, 23:02

Okay ... where do I start?

First up, mega kudos to the other nutters who thought riding with me was a good idea

I recall someone saying "I won't be doing gijoe1313 milage!"

400km+ later ....

Ride started well, winter and I got into the "doh! I saw him ride past!" "doh! Where's he going!?" "doh! I was waiting at Shell Triangle Greenlane!"

At this point I had my wet weather riding gear on and looking like the Michelin man. Quick howdy-doos and we pootle off to Wairau McDeath's/Mobil combo and saw kwaka750 pull in. Pleasantries exchanged and a pre-ride ride was organised by kwaka! Good man! We rode out to Greenhithe/Hobsonville as you do before pulling into Snowplanet for us to warm up and get some liquid refreshments imbibed.

Rode to Caltex Orewa just past the roundabout and met up with Northpoint. Much toing and humming and haaing and froing about a possible ride plan. The poor fools....

somehow I got in on this and ... well read on gentle audience and please remember I am clinically insane when it comes to route taking!

From Silverdale led ably by Northpoint, we rode to Kaukapaka and I took over to lead the way on SH16. At this point a couple of the lads were experiencing the balmy joys of wind gusts - I'll let them relate this part! We stopped off past the nice 35kph left hander and I checked the chicken strips on the lads tires. Ooh! They were definitely getting their lean on!

And the first of "I'll just duck off to drain the one-eyed trouser snake" shennanigans took place (this would be a recurring theme!

)

From the magnificent views, we could see nature's elements watering all the land below the heavens. A healthy gust blew the hair of those endowed with longer lengths like a bad Old Spice commerical (for those too young to know what Old Spice is, ask yer male parental spawning unit!)

At this stage, I was maintaining a steady 100kph and had to drop off the speed at points to allow the others to pootle merrily along without worrying about trying to keep me in sight (by the end of this ride, I was at the back trying to keep up with them!

)

Now, at Wellsford we stop to chat about the next part of the ride, Winter had to be back in Dorkland for his evening stint that provides coin to keep his life sustained. I clearly had been inhaling too much of Daisy's two-stroke smoke lately and I harrumphed something about riding through the Brynderwyns and zipping back down the coast avoiding Dargaville.

A great idea, 'cept I forgot I do that way via the way down from Whangarei! :slap: End result - we ended up in Ruawai, at rush hour. Winter needed to refuel his svelte body and we all ended up tippling the porcelain thrones with our purple-veined yoghurt throwers.

Continued in Part II : "I thought you said we weren't riding to Dargaville!" or "How to end up doing a mega-pootle by default c/o gijoe1313"

**gijoe1313** · 13th April 2007, 23:28

And here gentle audience, is the concluding part of II of this sordid tale of deception, decaying bladders, desperately numb saddle butts and the usual cliched biking anecdotes.

Read on avast!

So, in Ruawai we head up the way to ... Dargaville. Dang!

I didn't bring my map with me so I just blithely pootled along the twisties to get to that nice set of 35kph s-bends and ended up in Dargaville. Kawaka750 had just recently mentioned at Wellsford about how good pizza was there!

Anyhow, we pull up in Dargaville and next to me is northpoint saying "I thought you said we weren't riding to Dargaville!"

Mys bad! I tried to cover up my poor map memory retention by uttering : "Oh yeah, uh, yeah ... all part of the plan - after all, would you have ridden this far if I hadn't completely led us all astray?"

(I think I mentioned this at the lookout point before Orewa on the way home, but I digress, and this makes for more humourous reading!)

Well, at this stage, my light has crapped out - and I push kwaka750 to the front to lead us back! Merry was our wending way - no gas at Paparoa ( I hit reserve just after Ruawai and northpoint was saying "my fuel gauge is suddenly developing a thirsty leak!" or words to that effect).

Anyhow, we pootle back to Maungaturoto and fill up there, shoot back to Wellsford and take SH1 back to Dorkland. We somehow missed all the bad weather and only got a few spots of rain. By this stage, from my TEC position I could see the boys developing that "ooh, numb butt, sore wrist, ooh how I hate gijoe1313 so much right now" attitude

winter is now leading us home at this stage and before we hit Orewa, we take one more stop for some of us to water the flowers with our undercover truncheons. We make our peace with each other (I was secretly relieved I was not pitched over the cliff due to the excessive amount of milage we covered ... by accident!

)

northpoint left us first, followed by kwaka750 and then winter peeled off leaving me to add more km's to my total! An incident that left me

was when a pyscho in a cage almost rammed kwaka750 in the rear via a hair-brained lane changing maneuver! It was so bloody close I felt my stomach drop. I gave my horn a blast and rode up to kwaka750 and showed how close the idiot got to him ... a thumb and index finger apart

I rode to Dorkland, got a feed in - bought some books and rode back to my brother's place to watch the 'canes give the cheetahs a whatfor! Huzzah! A perfect end to my day's ride!

Mega kudos once again to winter, northpoint and kwaka750 for participating in my sanctioned madness. I dare say, they may find reasons to avoid rides involving me planning any routes!

but, as I have said, I would ride with any one of these bikers again, they got the biking spirit alright!

And that concludes gijoe1313's diatribe about the road trip that was twice as long as anybody thought it would take! 'cept for gijoe1313 who thought it was half as short as it could be!

**gijoe1313** · 13th April 2007, 23:32

As promised, photos with my usual interminable, random style of narration.

Photo 1 : Snowplanet, I think winter chose it cause it matched his bike, and he fancied some of the girlies there

Photo 2 : winter doing his best impression of roadkill (or Gene-o-kleen, evolution you can see!)
Photo 3 : northpoint being dodgy and checking out where winter had been ...
Photo 4 : "eeew yuck...how can such a svelte body get so much out of it!?"
Photo 5 : Old Spice commercial, manly hair tossed in the breeze, all whilst holding onto their helmets! (ooer!)

**Winter** · 14th April 2007, 00:03

Im home now.. Sore, Tired, and grinning!

haha, what a funny storey.

**Winter** · 14th April 2007, 00:04

521km from my door to my door today.

**gijoe1313** · 14th April 2007, 00:14

And the final few photos which was remarkably remiss of me to take more!

Photo 1 : Door to door service! I was laughing so hard at this I think I almost peed a little!

Photo 2 : I think northpoint was trying out for a linebacker in this manuever. I hope so, or that's one helluva kidney stone to pass!
Photo 3 : Don't pass it to me!
Photo 4 : The lovely zen car park of Ruawai, winter is busy raking it into new narcoleptic patterns (actually, we were all waiting for him to bin it

)
Photo 5 : Arty drunk angle shot for "Rough and Tough Biker Bozuzoku Movie"
Photo 6 : kwaka750 saying to northpoint "No, I don't care if your bum is numb - I'm not riding it home for you!" northpoint : "..........."

**gijoe1313** · 14th April 2007, 00:53

..........

I just had to do it

ps - all mistakes are intentional! cheez whiz!

**zeocen** · 14th April 2007, 01:06

Oh bloody hell! Sounds like a fantastic ride!
Justin (yes, first name basis and everything), you really shouldn't take your crazy routes as a bad thing. The best ride of my short but exciting riding career was on Thursday thanks to your great long ride. I polished some riding skills that needed some serious polishing.

If it weren't for you I'd be doing Manurewa -> Maraetai loop forever! Now my next big ride will be no shorter than Manurewa -> Whangamata .. and possibly even further!

You've made 2 massive rides out of a weekend that quite frankly shouldn't have had any due to weather forecasts, that deserves some serious bling and a shout of beer!

/Edit: also bling to Winter needs to be given too, in my 2nd week of riding I was still pootling along suburban streets at nana-scooter speeds. You've got balls of steel!

**gijoe1313** · 14th April 2007, 01:17

Originally Posted by zeocen

Oh bloody hell! Sounds like a fantastic ride!
Justin (yes, first name basis and everything), you really shouldn't take your crazy routes as a bad thing. The best ride of my short but exciting riding career was on Thursday thanks to your great long ride. I polished some riding skills that needed some serious polishing.

If it weren't for you I'd be doing Manurewa -> Maraetai loop forever! Now my next big ride will be no shorter than Manurewa -> Whangamata .. and possibly even further!

You've made 2 massive rides out of a weekend that quite frankly shouldn't have had any due to weather forecasts, that deserves some serious bling and a shout of beer!

/Edit: also bling to Winter needs to be given too, in my 2nd week of riding I was still pootling along suburban streets at nana-scooter speeds. You've got balls of steel!

Now, it takes a crazy to recognise another crazy! I think Winter has what it takes to be pootling potty crazy - in my 2nd week of riding I was down to Hamiltron to pick up Quasi gear and rode back in the rain and dark down a back country road up to Dorkland!

I just try to replicate that feeling in all people that accompany me on my pootling rides

I got all gooey inside when I read Winter had done 521km door to door... he needs to lube that chain now! So, you done your chain yet? Huh? Huh? Well have you?

And what do you do when gijoe1313 says to you "I'm thinking of taking you along with me on a pootling ride" ... how do you react? What do you say? What do you do? Huh? Huh? Well? What do you do!?