Farking Bike

**Sniper** · 21st December 2005, 08:07

Righto, so MissSnipers FZR is a BITCH. Its a whore, arse, dick, POS, prannet, effluvium, enuresis verruca! Now that I have that out of my system, I need some advice please.

The last time the shitty FZR was ridden was a 320km round trip to Arthurs pass and back. 4 days later, the bitch wouldn't start. She would just crank over but it just would not fire. Me thinks that cool, this gives me a chance to take off the fairings of the bike to see what she looks like naked. (MissSniper doesn't seem to like me undressing other girls, so I had to do it while she wasn't around.) While doing this, I was thinking of the many reasons why it wouldn't start, so I checked the basics. Kill Switch is set to run, there is fuel in the tank and I was just about to pop some new spark plugs. (Cut a long story short there was spark, it bit me ><)

So over the past couple of weeks I have ummmm'ed and ahhhh'ed about what to do and 2 days ago I put some new plugs in the bike. Then I had to take them out again because I realised that the handy dandy cleaner spray I was putting on them was actually not no so handy dandy chain lube

So off I go to buy another can of handy dandy parts cleaner (No idea where my last lot went

) and I fixed them plugs. Tried to crank her over.......... nothing.

Compression is good, so it can't be that, must be electrical cause all of a sudden, Im not getting any spark :spudwhat: Now Im dead sure I was because leaving a lead on your knee while cranking the bike over hurts! But wait, I still haven't learnt my lesson

Time to re-check the spark.......... Holding plug against frame, hmmmm no spark. Now I hate this bike.... the neighbour comes round to ask if I can teach him in the skilled art of swearing like a preacher in a whore house with a good dose of the clap and to prove to him (He never believes me:spudwhat: ) I put the spark plug in my mouth and hit the starter

. Guess what happens........ Anyway, after shooing the ambulance away and trying to get the feeling in my tongue back. I realise that there must be a fault with A: The starter or B: The coil

Now, which should I check the coil first (IE: put a new one in) or what should my next port of call be?

BTW: We now have 111 on speed dial.

**DemonWolf** · 21st December 2005, 08:21

Jeez... hope there wasn't any damage to yourself with that display?

**crashe** · 21st December 2005, 08:27

Were there any pic's taken during this spark plug display....

As we would all love to see them....

**sparrow_34** · 21st December 2005, 08:30

Have you tried push starting the little hua?

**SpeedyGirl** · 21st December 2005, 08:39

Call me next time you want to try the spark plugs... I need a good laugh :eyepoke:

**R1** · 21st December 2005, 08:44

Have the Darwin award people been over yet? would you like me to call them?

Try push starting it, I have had bikes do a similar a thing and found that they would start when push started but not from the starter dont know why but it seems to work, I guess if your starter is getting a bit lazy it will crank but not fire..

a few things you may want to check

is the battery in good nick?
are all you earth cables bolted to nice clean surfaces?
have you measured the voltage drop on the coil when you are cranking the bike?
are the battery terminals clean and tight?
checked the fuses?
FZR's have an electric fuel pump is that working?

let you know if i think of anything else

**Gontour** · 21st December 2005, 08:46

You have checked there is fuel in, but is it passed the reserve? and is it getting to the cylinder, i'e some kind of blockage?

**XTC** · 21st December 2005, 08:47

I think the Fault is definately with sniper. As you ruled out fuel and spark tee heeone thing you could check is valve clearances. even though it may feel like it's got a lump there may not be quite enough for starting. So go get ya feeler guages.

**Sniper** · 21st December 2005, 09:12

Its never my fault, Im always right! The spark plug idea was just stupid and I don't think I will do it again though. Thanks God MissSniper wasn't home to see it.

One thing I forgot to mention was with the old spark plugs I got a minor backfire from 5 seconds of cranking?

**T.W.R** · 21st December 2005, 09:35

check your regulator/rectifier Sniper, then check the coils for resistance with a multi meter ( can't remember what ohms it should be, it ain't much anyhow)