Off-roading practice with Gremlin...

[gijoe1313]

Well, I have just got back from a ride that was a wee bit strange even by my norms.

It all started when I got MSNed by Gremlin about going to Mangatawhiri and checking out the new bypass for his contribution to a GPS open source project (something about checking all roads present are actually there or summit!)

All good and well, any excuse for a ride I say!

What transpired next will be something I will remember for a long time, when I am on a rocking chair on a porch with my teeth in a glass beside me ...

Gremlin turns up on his loud Katoom o'doom and I was waiting by sleeping on my Big Ol'Hornet, we gas up at BP Takanini and then we do the Hunua twisties out to Mangatawhiri. All normal so far, dodging the usual possum and hedgehog and dealing with bug splat on visor.

Then it all goes downhill from there :slap:

Since Gremlin had the GPS he was keen on riding all the roads present to see if they were correct. We followed the old SH road and went over the bridge to Mercer, went down a side road that said No Exit. It meant no more road! Another road was gravel and a precursor to what was to follow next!

I was muttering and eating dust from the Katoom zipping ahead of my Big Ol'Hornet and eventually we exhaust the nearby road options. Gremlin then utters the fateful words ...

"Let's check out the other side to see those roads" or summit like that, hard to hear since he has his hufferguard on and I got my lid on. So off we go and eventually from the nice SH road we make a lefty.

Into fields of corn. Gravelly roads with heavy machinery on either side. By this stage I was thinking ... we are in Farmer Brown's domain! This can't be a public road!

But as I live and breathe and the philosophy I live by, I always ride forward! So when Gremlin pointed his Katoom and gunned it ahead into the distance, his tail light fast becoming a pin-point, I patted the Big Ol'Hornet and bumped and grinded our merry way along.

And then it all goes pear-shaped.

The road turns from flattened metal, to loose gravel, from loose gravel to small rocks, small rocks suddenly become fist sized tyre pulverisers ...

Well I just remembered to keep throttle on, look to where I want to go (no, don't look at the culvert, no, don't look at that drop off into a stream, no, don't look anywhere, but to where you want to go!)

Gremlin had a happy smile on his face and it was all I could do to stop from smacking him upside the helmet Actually I was enjoying myself as this was an adventure!

Eventually we head uphill and come to a farmhouse. Dog barking. We make a turn around and suddenly a loud booming voice comes out of the dark ...

"What the @#$)@ are you @#$) doing? Ger'roff! This is private land. Cops have been called"

"......"

By this stage, I was making no sudden moves and I was half expecting a rifle or shotgun blast Somehow I have a conversation with him and basically he just wanted us to bugger off. Fair enough!

Two bikers. Out in the middle of a rocky field. Lost. 3am. I would be very irate if I was a hardworking farmer as well!

Well, we managed to bounce our way out and back to the main road. This still wasn't enough for Gremlin and suddenly I has an epiphany.... "so this is what it feels like when people ride with me on my excursions!"

Anyway I'm always game and followed him around and about - we got to Maramarua golf course ... and I wondered if he was going to start checking the GPS co-ordinates of the 18 holes there!

Sanity somehow reigned, we shot up a hilly roadn Gremlin saw a wascally wabbit and ran after him with his Katoom and onto the Bombay servo we rode. Had a bit of a natter and then Gremlin headed back via the Moronway. I think I made the comment "This would be a good place to take Trump lady!" I went back via some more twisties and got home ... with dust in my clothes, bits of gravel in my Big Ol'Hornet ... and a massive grin on my face

Now, just have to write a little apology card and some choccies for the farmer who we probably gave a minor heart attack to! I guess its my next excuse for a ride tomorrow! Er... I mean today!

Moral of the Story : If you are going to do stupid things at stupid times, make sure you have the right stupid people to do it with!

[Gremlin]

naw naw... ya missed out some crucial things... you planted the idea of a ride in my head.

Earlier I had read on the open gps that no track existed of the Mangatawhiri deviation, and shucks, thats pretty much my backyard, can't have that. The katoom needs k's on it anyway, so it can get the next service prior to the new year, so what more excuse do I need? Then Mr Pootler himself says, swing by my place, and I'll come... guess it was going ahead then

The 10km ride to his place turned into 20km, as I was certain the GPS would try to shorten the route GiJoe had challenged me to. Unfortunately, it was right at some point, so I ended up too far south. Once I started listening to it, I reached his place in short order. Perhaps it was a sign of things to come?

First task was gas (anyone who has ridden with me knows I can't go without filling up - its like a fix), and then on to Mangatawhiri. When we get past Hotel Du Vin, we try to turn right onto SH2... oops... thats now closed. Back up the other way, aiming to get all the road layouts tracked, so I can provide it to the regional mappers. Going over the new SH2, tracking an overpass into Kaheroa Rd, I notice a small road to one side, not on the map. Following that, it was evidently an access road for working on the deviation, when it came to an abrupt halt in a field. Gi thought I was going to keep on going into the field... sheesh... the grass was too tall.

Returning to Kaheroa Rd, and following it deeper into the country, I wondered when it was time to return to the original task, when I spotted King Rd, which looked like it led back to SH2, according to GPS. Upon entering the road I noticed the dreaded "no exit", and told Gi that of all things, they were always the most accurate. Sure enough, it finishes up at some houses, and doesn't continue. Gi looks somewhat annoyed when I proudly announce I was right...

Of course... taking road tracking quite seriously (people depend on it dontcha know) its all very well knowing that it doesn't go through, but what about the other end? Where does it finish, and does it even exist?

As Gi says, this is where it starts to go a little pear shaped Deviating from tracking the deviation, we hunt out the other end, and head down it (dirt/gravel immediately). To be fair, I never saw private property signs, and the road was marked from SH2, named etc. Shortly into it, it ends in a T intersection, and wondering if either side does lead through... well, we best find out.

Heading down the left road, it eventually dawns on me that we're riding on the edge of a huge field of corn, and this is for tractors (bit hard to tell at 0230). Stopping and announcing this to Gi, I think he later said his reaction was "really sherlock?". Well, there was still the right fork, and down we head. This one is similar, but it keeps going. At one point I see it going over a hill, and ask Gi if we should see where it goes. He says why not, so I think he egged me on, and everything after this is his fault.

It quickly goes from normal gravel/dirt to fist sized gravel, but hey, someone put this here for a reason? I cunningly think it must lead to the other roads the GPS tells me exists.

Alas... it leads to a farmers house, who is not impressed with bikers riding over his property at 0230 in the morning. Apologies made (and the torch shone upon us from a distance - it was a dang bright torch), Gi does some fast talking (I'm as deaf as a post with earplugs in) we scuttled back the way we came and actually continued what we were there for in the first place.

With the tracks recorded, it was back to Bombay via some more goat tracks (Gi encouraged me to take these routes, and not the normal ones) we split up, with him heading home via some unnecessary long route, and me into the city for a quick bit of work, before heading home... to see this post blaming me for everything

[Choco]

"......"

Legendary story man!

[Taz]

Thanks guys. Now I'll have to download the latest mapset.

[racerhead]

By the sound of things ye guys should start organising mystery night time ride outs Id love to go on a spin like that because it sounds like such an adventure

[gijoe1313]

Oh yes, I can see that straight away ... 8-12 bikers all riding around Farmer Brown's fields at 3am

"Honey..."
"Yes dear?"
"Get my gun, we got pesky bikers running around in the corn again ..."

And as for Gremlin, that's another fine mess he has got me into! The First time I ride with him, there is a helicopter involved. The Second time, I'm wondering if I'm about to get a bullet in the back! And to think I'm going to be travelling down to the SI with this character!

(Yesh, I know what y'all thinking - with these two plonkers away from the NI, maybe things will settle down a bit!)

It's good to ensure I miss great swathes out since it means it leaves Gremlin something to talk about. This is an unfortunate case where our blardy KB nicks reflects our real life selves!

I feel a little pootle coming on to see Farmer Brown with peace offerings to ensure that good will is still felt to filthy biker scum. I mean we wouldn't want to spoil it for the next random bikers turning up in his fields at 3am hmmm?

[gijoe1313]

"...ehem, if it pleases your lordship, I am submitting the data log of the transcript taken place between the co-defendants..."
"Proceed."
"...erf, on the night in question - regarding the civil case of Farmer Brown vs Filthy Biker Scums, note the gravitas and casual treatment of how they "planned" this event.."

(Note : This is the actual MSN conversation we had, nothing edited - only the map ref points!)

12:00:40 AM Gremlin: hmmmm only an hour to Mangatawhiri
12:00:50 AM Gremlin: via the twisties
12:01:17 AM gijoe1313: ooh good one
12:01:44 AM Gremlin: I feel obliged to assist the project... might have to pop out there before doing more work
12:02:07 AM gijoe1313: nothing to do with running up more milage on the KTM hmm?
12:02:11 AM Gremlin: 8-)
12:02:31 AM gijoe1313: so done your client work?
12:02:42 AM Gremlin: requires visits to sites
12:02:45 AM Gremlin: to swap drives
12:02:49 AM Gremlin: no, done nothing
12:02:57 AM gijoe1313: -_-;
12:03:02 AM Gremlin: well... if nothing includes browsing kb, sb, opengps forums 8-)(
12:03:19 AM gijoe1313: so doing your clients work via Mangatawhiri uuhuh ...
12:03:23 AM Gremlin: hey, did you change the word file that contains all the bb details?
12:03:40 AM Gremlin: nah, wouldn't carry drives out there, I'd gas up, go out, map it up, come back to office
12:03:43 AM gijoe1313: which one? o_O;
12:03:44 AM Gremlin: then east tamaki and city
12:03:46 AM Gremlin: then office again
12:03:50 AM gijoe1313: I did save
12:03:57 AM Gremlin: on my work pc, its prompting to save changes?
12:04:03 AM Gremlin: you can't, its a temp file
12:04:10 AM Gremlin: if there is something valid, I need to save
12:04:12 AM gijoe1313: you mean I added in those McJim details ... I think I did a save as
12:04:17 AM Gremlin: ah, 1 sec
12:04:22 AM gijoe1313: have a check
12:04:26 AM gijoe1313: I could be confoolzed
12:04:37 AM Gremlin: mmm no mcjim in word doc
12:04:48 AM gijoe1313: nah I did those in the xl
12:04:50 AM Gremlin: declined changes
12:04:54 AM Gremlin: ah, i c
12:05:02 AM gijoe1313: yeah I left the notepad one alone
12:05:31 AM Gremlin: ah, be aware I opened the doc from my emails, so it was in a temp file location
12:05:36 AM Gremlin: ie, basically impossible to get bacj
12:05:41 AM Gremlin: re-saved to the desktop
12:06:04 AM gijoe1313: s'alright
12:06:12 AM gijoe1313: not as if there was anything major
12:06:22 AM Gremlin: nah, still, I'll re-send out files
12:06:46 AM gijoe1313: fairy muff
12:08:31 AM Gremlin: sent
12:08:46 AM gijoe1313: ooh so exciting! :O
12:09:07 AM Gremlin:
12:09:09 AM Gremlin: init
12:09:28 AM gijoe1313: call in on your way over to Mangatawhiri ... I will join you on the ride out! O
12:10:29 AM gijoe1313: getting good milage out of your 24 hr fuel thread!
12:10:36 AM gijoe1313: boom tish
12:10:45 AM Gremlin: mmmmm hahahahah, how did I know you would be interested
12:10:54 AM Gremlin: I'm like a puppet master, and you're my puppet
12:11:10 AM Gremlin: oh well, just doing some remote work
12:11:16 AM Gremlin: I can let you know via msn as I leave
12:11:19 AM gijoe1313: nah you don't realise I just ride regardless
12:11:30 AM gijoe1313: ride over to my place so you know where it is
12:11:34 AM Gremlin: oh... I finally get it... I'm just used
12:11:37 AM Gremlin: true
12:11:40 AM gijoe1313: yes, you are my catspaw
12:11:54 AM gijoe1313: my overt knife in front of the hidden glove
12:12:10 AM gijoe1313: you are like the box concealing the jelly crystals
12:12:19 AM gijoe1313: it contains the goodness concealed inside
12:12:30 AM Gremlin: I think we get it
12:12:38 AM gijoe1313: shh! I am monologuing!
12:12:48 AM gijoe1313: Rant!
12:12:50 AM gijoe1313: Rave!
12:12:52 AM gijoe1313: Arf!
12:12:54 AM gijoe1313: Bark!
12:15:19 AM Gremlin: how many k to your place?
12:15:27 AM gijoe1313: from where to where?
12:15:34 AM Gremlin: from here to there
12:15:35 AM gijoe1313: that is foolish question to ask me
12:15:42 AM gijoe1313: let me see ...
12:16:26 AM gijoe1313: about 10km?
12:16:38 AM Gremlin: oh... that all
12:16:45 AM gijoe1313: (google map ref edited to protect guilty parties)
12:16:48 AM gijoe1313: tell me about it
12:16:57 AM gijoe1313: but I go by back ways
12:17:11 AM gijoe1313: that google map route is t3h suXX0rz
12:18:14 AM gijoe1313: I go this way
12:18:15 AM gijoe1313: (google map ref edited to protect guilty parties)
12:18:29 AM Gremlin: meh... anyway, I assume you know a gas station near your place...
12:18:33 AM Gremlin: I ummm need some
12:18:40 AM gijoe1313: let me see BP Takanini lol
12:18:48 AM gijoe1313: -_-;
12:18:58 AM gijoe1313: you know that doesn't surprise me anymore?
12:19:08 AM Gremlin: meh, thats cool, meet up, get gas, then we can go to mangatawhiri
12:19:16 AM Gremlin: hey, I haven't filled since wellsford
12:19:26 AM gijoe1313: there will come a day when you leave a hostel with a full tank and then 10 minutes later you will say .. need gas
12:23:53 AM Gremlin: I resemble that
12:24:05 AM gijoe1313: ahh I have found my bike comm units
12:24:08 AM gijoe1313: charging them up
12:24:16 AM Gremlin: oooh, I can even give the SI map book back if you want, you forgot it in the office
12:24:27 AM gijoe1313: nah I left it there
12:24:34 AM gijoe1313: I have my motorcycling atlas
12:24:34 AM Gremlin: ok...
12:24:46 AM gijoe1313: and found a huge arse touring book of NZ on my library shelf
12:24:57 AM gijoe1313: just now looking for the charging units heh
12:25:21 AM gijoe1313: so take that route I gave ya hehe
12:25:51 AM gijoe1313: least is has some twisty action, not much but better than the Te Irirangi drive of death
12:26:28 AM Gremlin: lol
12:27:26 AM Gremlin: te irirangi and the motorway into the city... yeah, they are travelled a LOT
12:27:34 AM gijoe1313: zomg
12:27:37 AM gijoe1313: I pity you
12:27:57 AM gijoe1313: actually I taunted the Botany Honda staff today mwuahah
12:28:15 AM gijoe1313: "ooh look, a nice day, ooh I am riding ... and then ... I think I will ride some more!"
12:28:28 AM gijoe1313: "and then I will go home, swap bikes ... and ... go riding!"
12:28:43 AM gijoe1313: I got a lot of birds flipped at me! O
12:28:57 AM gijoe1313: Richard threatened me with sharp pointy things
12:29:12 AM Gremlin: richard always threatens people
12:29:13 AM gijoe1313: Danny just told me to do something unmentionable to myself...
12:29:38 AM Gremlin: pooor wichard, I got him good with the cb1000r
12:29:49 AM Gremlin: he had been taunting me about him riding it before m
12:29:52 AM Gremlin: me
12:29:57 AM gijoe1313: lol
12:30:04 AM Gremlin: of course, he couldn't... he threatened me in a few ways
12:30:56 AM gijoe1313: yes but you have already done those things he mentioned already
12:36:35 AM gijoe1313: so ... when you heading over? ^o)
12:37:20 AM Gremlin: cleaned up, washed up, packed up, taken the bike outside
12:37:28 AM Gremlin: gearing up and coming over now
12:37:29 AM gijoe1313: O_o
12:37:36 AM gijoe1313: okily dokily
12:37:47 AM Gremlin: you'll hear me coming down the street anyway
12:37:58 AM gijoe1313: hyuk


"...your honour, I rest my case"
"guilty as charged, porridge, bread and water and a hard brick for a pillow"
"...luxury your honour! I demand you remove the brick and substitute a KTM seat instead!"

[Gremlin]

I'm pretty sure it didn't go like that... you planted the idea when you were over and we were planning the SI trip

[TOTO]

good adventure. I want in next time

[PrincessBandit]

Hahahaha, great picture painting - can see it all in my mind! Ah, to be young and adventurous.
p.s. travelled the bypass on thurs in the car; quite weird missing Mangatawhiri.

[KiwiKat]

Thats one crazy ride. Nice reports. With the wonders of modern GPS technology does that mean that future riders and drivers will now be heading to farmhouses through backdoor tracks?

[Gremlin]

Thats one crazy ride. Nice reports. With the wonders of modern GPS technology does that mean that future riders and drivers will now be heading to farmhouses through backdoor tracks?

No no, I think the farmer would happily shoot the next lot. I have made the relevant recommendations to the forum to remove pieces of road that the GPS said existed.

On reflection, Mr GiJoe is quite famous for his pootling through the countryside, getting lost, running out of gas etc. Me, on the other hand, I manage to get lost WITH the GPS Is that not impressive or what?

His first post made me laugh a hell of a lot... but I probably laugh more when I try to imagine what the farmer was thinking of two bikes riding across his land (and fields) at 0230 in the morning, with no proper road in sight

[gijoe1313]

I'm pretty sure it didn't go like that... you planted the idea when you were over and we were planning the SI trip

I'm pretty sure the ideas I have t'ain't got nuffink to do with you going all higgle-di-piggle over all sorts of terrain!

As I am oft reminded of a certain demotivational poster ...

"Adventure - Is taking inappropriate equipment to places where they have no place on earth to be"

And I have you know that any crazy foolish japes and capers I come up with is but par for the course to me. I am astounded that someone of your intellect and acumen would even countenance having me along.

It's rather like letting a dipsomaniac loose in a brewery!

You know the more insane and ridiculous a situation will get, I am there!

I think next time I ride with you, I need to be riding a dirtbike. That GPS has got me more lost with you than me getting lost by myself without any help!

I hereby redefine the acronym GPS (Global Positioning System) to (Go Play Somewhere)

[Gremlin]

I think next time I ride with you, I need to be riding a dirtbike. That GPS has got me more lost with you than me getting lost by myself without any help!

I hereby redefine the acronym GPS (Global Positioning System) to (Go Play Somewhere)

oh for the love of god... why can't I rep ya

Now just remember, it did stop you from getting lost that one time when you were trying to find kerikeri ... but that is against how many getting losts, with it?

I wonder why others with GPS don't have the same adventures huh?

[gijoe1313]

oh for the love of god... why can't I rep ya

Now just remember, it did stop you from getting lost that one time when you were trying to find kerikeri ... but that is against how many getting losts, with it?

I wonder why others with GPS don't have the same adventures huh?

I was actually going against my natural instinct ... by going against it, I am being normal and doing what normal people would do!

I knew we had to head in that direction for Kerikeri, but dammit, my inclination is to always keep riding in the opposite of what most people do! :slap:

But hey! This is about you and your GPS and how you made us end up traversing Farmer Brown's corn fields. I bet that corn field is well mapped now!