Young death - Donations

[boman]

And one for Darren

Awww Shucks.

And for T.G.W. too

[caseye]

Hi ya Anika.Well,as yoo said more questions than answers, more to think about and to make you sad.
The others have got you covered, I'm with them, here if you need us.
Get some sleep and give yourself some time out, you are doig fine, we are not telling you this for nothing.It's true and we are all greatly encouraged by your actions and words, our Anika is among us again, talking about her worries and showing us that she is coping with a very very hard situation.
Night Anika.
A hug from us for Connor to, aye.

[Genestho]

Awww Shucks.

And for T.G.W. too

[DreamRunner]

Hey Anika,
There's so many questions, I know. But as the others are saying, asking yourself what if forever will just end up with your head wrapped around and around in confusion. There's other what ifs you could be asking I don't know how you met Alex... if it was at a party, for instance, what if you'd changed your mind and never gone to that party that night? You might've never met him and Connor never born. Or maybe it was through a friend... What if that friend had decided not to introduce you two?

There's so many what ifs in life, and every moment, every single thing that happens is part of the what ifs. All we can do is try to accept the way things happen and know that there's no changing them.

Hope you're doing okay

[dipshit]

Yea I have so many questions... .... or why did his helmet come off..

Did he end up getting his helmet off trademe?
http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...79&postcount=4

[Gmears]

I Visited the SCU to discuss Alex`s accident the week of his death and I had a look at the helmet, it was brand new , maybe he forgot to clip it up ?
Graham

[PrincessBandit]

I Visited the SCU to discuss Alex`s accident the week of his death and I had a look at the helmet, it was brand new , maybe he forgot to clip it up ?
Graham

Possible. It's easy to forget to do if you stick your helmet on, then get distracted with something like shutting the garage door, or nipping back inside to grab something. Also, helmets need to be pretty snug fitting when brand new as they do mould to your head shape as they wear in. Although if it was too big it's hard to imagine it coming off completely. Others may have more experience with that scenario and whether it's likely.

[alexm]

Hmm I never even knew he posted it up. Yea he did. We decided to get a brand new one and not risk getting a second hand one. I also measured his head with a measuring tape so we knew if it was the right size. He went over to see the guy and tried it out to make sure too. So I know it fit him right, he would have told me if it hadn't. He told me everything so if anything was wrong with his helmet or the bike I would have known about it. He did tell me one time after he came home from work that he was on the motorway and realised he hadn't clipped the straps together and I gave him a good telling off. My theory is that on his way to work, I know he stopped at the petrol station. So I think maybe when he stopped off there after putting his helmet back on he must have forgotten to clip it up. Damn damn petrol station why did he need petrol. The cop also said he himself has forgotten to do his up before, or sometimes you think its clipped in properly but its not really.It's just such a small mistake that cost so much

[YellowDog]

Yep, we've all done it. It's quite irritating when the straps slap against your chin, so I would stop and do it up.

The other thing is that depends upon the type of fastening is that it may not have been done up properly. The ones that clip together need to click all the way in or they would just clip apart under any pressure. If it was new and still tight, it may have appeared to be OK.

Also, not everyone I know knows how to properly fasten the older fashioned ones that you have thread the strap though the two links.

I am very sorry for you loss and was deeply saddened by the reported turn of events.

Life must go on, so I wish good luck to you in all respects.

[PrincessBandit]

I've had quick release (snap-lock) helmet straps and the D-rings which required threading through. In the early days I know it took some practice actually getting the technique right to do it by feel only. Even now, my current helmet has D rings, and I still can only do it up without my gloves on. I need the tactile feel of everything threading through correctly.

Whatever happened, even if it had been an oversight on Alex's part to do the strap up properly, the tragic consequences make it a moot point and must serve as a lesson to others to ensure their gear is used properly. This is in no way meant to cast any ill light on Alex, nor is the comment that other factors were obviously at play besides the helmet issue.

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Hi Anika hope you have been getting some good sleeps in and giving yourself some quite time.

I can't add much more to what the others have been saying and it certainly sounds like a tragic accident. I think there are a lot of bikers out there that at some point of time has forgotten to do there helmet up.

Take Care love

Wendy

[Dutchee]

Hey Anika, hope the week is being bearable and you're doing okay. All of us have to live with "what ifs". I'm trying to work out whether I'm making the right decision, plus having had an operation a few weeks ago have some healing of my own to do.
Speaking for myself, I've been impressed with how strong you've been and look forward to your posts, just to see you're okay.
I also don't worry about you as much as initially, but think of you and Connor often.
You may not be posting but still lurking, just so long as you know that you really know you can phone any of us who've given you our phone numbers, and that we do genuinely care for you, even if we've never met. (that is speaking on behalf of others, who I'm sure won't mind me saying that).
Take care and give little Connor a big hug from all of us.
Michelle

[caseye]

Hey Anika, what Dutchee/ Michelle said x 2!
Rain tomorrow, be getting wet just getting to work, oh well.
Take care.

[alexm]

Hi guys,I don't know what else to say apart from what I've already said a million times before.It's still very hard, probably harder than when it first happened, cause I found the first couple of weeks I was in complete shock, I can hardly remember much from those days..Except for all the horrible things, like the police showing up at my door, seeing Alex in the mortuary, and his funeral. I still have very dark thoughts, I still feel like I'm waiting for something to happen..I'm not sure what, I guess a part of me still doesn't believe this is real. On the 25th of this month it will be/would have been Alex's 22nd birthday. Another trip to the grave for me on what should have been a happy day. I can't believe he didn't make it to 22, I still feel so angry this happened, and I feel sorry for myself and bad for Alex too, that he's missing out on so much, and I am too. Connor's already gone half his life without his dad.
I just wanna say thank you all, not just for the donations but for all your support. When I posted up here that day (although I don't remember doing it) I know I wasn't expecting such a huge reply. It really means so much to me that you all gave me support and still continue to do so, for a stranger. I know Alex would be really grateful.

[wingrider]

To the parents.

I know you have never met me but I hope these words will be of comfort to you.

Think of them a s personal letter from Alex.


I’ve only slipped into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way,
which you always use.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laugh,
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me.
Let my name be ever the household word.
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort,
without the ghost of a shadow on it.

life means all it has ever meant.
It is the same as it always was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of your mirror,
because I am out of your sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
Somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.