You know you have a Classic if...

[Dodgyiti]

I want to hear your hard luck stories in Mad Magazine format.
The sentence starts:

You know you have a classic if...

Here are a few to start off with, from my own personal over stuffed drawer of grief.

You know you have a classic if you have to pe-order a tire because no one stocks decent 18"/19"/21" road rubber


You know you have a classic if your mobile phone contacts include a Towie

You know you have a classic if you worry that the grime incrusted in your fingers will not wash off for the job interview on Monday

You know you have a classic if you count your friends as "the engine guy" "the balancing guy" "the electrickery guy"


You know you have a classic if you go to the bike shop knowing they will not have the part you want, nor will they be able to order it, nor will they even know what your talking about


You know you have a classic if they snigger at you when you ask if they have the part


You know you have a classic if you go on group rides so at least someone can double you home


You know you have a classic if your missus asks you to clear that crap out of the garage and she means your bike

You know you have a classic if you don't bother to put a catch tray down when doing an oil change because the floor needs some fresh stuff to wash away the crusty stuff anyway



I got plenty more, but let's hear some of yours

[Bonez]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a radiator or a fan.

[Subike]

you know you have a classic when after points and plugs you can still afford a beer

[Ixion]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a radiator or a fan.

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a camshaft

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you have to buy a whole bike just to get that unobtainum part

You know you have a classic if the only accessory you can buy is a muffler, and it looks stupid once you fit it.

You know you have a classic if it takes you 5 hours to prepare for a group ride and everyone else justs puts gas in


You know you have a classic if you put spares over clothes when sorting what you can carry on a long trip

You know you have a classic if you park on the grass not the driveway when visiting friends (unless they have a classic too, then you mark your own spot on their driveway)



You know you have a classic if you spend every stop on a group ride checking nothing has fallen off

You know you have a classic if you start carrying 'fluids' on long journeys because buying a one litre at a gas station is just a rip off, you buy oil by the 44 gallon drum

[Bonez]

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one without a camshaft

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and your bike is the only one with push rods.

You know you have a classic when you go on a group ride and wonder why every one complains that you smoke. Haven't had a siggy for 20 years.

You know you have a classic when you go on a Friday night ride carrying a decent assortment of tools and spare cables.

You know you have a classic when you're garden shed is full of spare parts "just in case".

You know you have a classic when you can give it a few kicks to get the engine running because the battery is getting tired.

You know you have a classic when your riding at night and a glow worm has more illumination than your headlight on full beam.

You know you have a classic when the battery dies, have no kick start, but can still bump start it to get you home.

You know you have a classic when you mention screw and locknut adjustments then get asked what page of the karma sutra
is that position on.

You know you have a classic when a group of black clad HOG members start reminising about the "good old days" whilst gathered around your il4 at Cafe Cuba.

You know you have a classic when you drop a part, can't find it, then just go to the old set of bedroom drawers and pull out another. Carry on with the task at hand only to find the dropped part two days later sitting on under the other "project" which you lost same part for two days earlier.

You know you own a classic when you need things called tubes to keep the tires inflated.

You know you have a classic when you carry a bridge wire in your pocket just in case you lose your ignition key.

[Taz]

You know you have a classic if you have to tickle it to get it going....

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you have to tickle it to get it going....

That could also pass for the missus too




You know you have a classic if your ears are so highly tuned you can discern every individual mechanical part slowly failing while riding

[eelracing]

You know you have a classic when last years favourite t-shirt makes a great cleaning rag.

[Pedrostt500]

You know you have a classic when you have 3 other bikes for spare parts.

[Trumpess]

awe fucken excellent!

Thanks for the giggle!

Shame though that alot said rings blaring bells

[Dodgyiti]

You know you have a classic if you can spot parts from your old classic in other's classics (eh Max?)

You know you have a classic if you draw your own wiring diagrams because nothing wired to the bike by now matches the factory diagram anyway


You know you have a classic if you have your bike/model permanantly searched on E-Bay/TradeMe... just in case something turns up

You know you have a classic if non-bikers haven't even heard of the brand when they ask what you ride

You know you have a classic if you keep knackered parts because a knackered spare is better than no spare

[Max Headroom]

You know you have a classic when you no longer call it your bike and begin referring to it as your "project".

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride for once without requiring external assistance.

You know you have a classic if wearing black leathers actually looks benign.

You know you have a classic when even your best jeans have oil stains.

You know you have a classic when "cracking the ton" now means travelling more than 100kms without a breakdown.

You know you have a classic when you actually read all the hardware flyers from your letterbox just in case there's more tools on special.

You know you have a classic when you realise that most of the books on your shelf include the name of your bike somewhere in the title.

You know you have a classic when many of the ornaments on your shelf were formerly attached to your bike at one time.

[Dodgyiti]

Very nice Max, still waiting on Motu- who probably has more pent up grief than most



You know you have a classic if you park up at a bike meeting and have to quickly get away from your classic before a herd of cloth cap wearing anoraks surround you harping on about the old days

[Ixion]

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride for once without requiring external assistance.

.

You know you have a classic when you experience the exhilaration of returning home from a ride actually *riding* , and with at least 75% of the bike you set out on !