Motorless bikes. Wotz da drill?

[Ixion]

Anybody know lotsa stuff about motorless bikes. Y'know the sort wiv pedel fings. Like a moped but wiv no mo.

No I haven't lost my licence.

But I've always been a fat lazy prick, 'cept when I was young, when I was a skinny lazy prick. Mrs Ixion reckons that skinny lazy prick is better than fat lazy prick, and she's been nagging me . Again. And making dire predictions about arteries and all sortsa stuff.

Load of cobblers I reckon, but I've gotta shut her up somehow.

So I asked her to review the options for me (cunning trick that, that's what management training does for ya)

She reckons the options are

1. Eat less.
Uh, no. Bugger off. I like eating.
2. Eat horrible boring shit like tofu and such like crap
Bugger off, darling. I tried that muck once. I'm firmly in favour of meals properly balanced between the four major food groups - sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.
3. Drink less
Uh, you were joking? But it's not funny. Next.
3 . Exercise more.

Uh, well , maybe. Like what?

So she suggested walking. And I've tried it (loyal and suppliant spouse that I am).

Bloody boring. You walk for ages and then you can still see where you started from . And walking never takes you anywhere decent . About the only thing walking does well, is the handling on gravel is good.

So, now she's suggested cycling. Which sounds a bit better.

It's faster. And gets you places. Like places where you can get a beer (Won't mention that to Her though but).

Now, I remember cycling, from when I was at school. I had a bicycle. A nameless one, they're the best.

But I went and sussed out the cycles at the Warehouse.

They seem to have acquired a ot of stuff that my old Nameless didn't have.

Like gears. The Nameless had a Sturmley Archer 3 speed gearbox (lota swank factor in that, back then). Worked by a little lever on the handlebars. Some of the new ones have about 20 speeds.Bloody hell, the powerband must be narrow as.

And suspension ! Some of them have suspension.Some of them have more suspension than half the motorbikes I've owned. Do y' really need it?

And there's all different sorts. Back in the day there were two sorts. Boys' and girls'.

And they're all made of superlattepretensium or summat.

So, anyone here know stuff about treadleys.

What's really worth having, what's not.

And how do those bloody gearboxes work. I couldn't see a gearlever. And how would you work it anyway, if you're peddling.

What sort should I look at? Bearing in mind I don't want to race the bloody thing, I just want something that'll get me to the nearest pub.What else do I need to know.

Anyone ? 'Twould be appreciated

(Oh, and I have already told Her that I absolutely REFUSE to wear lycra. )

[SwanTiger]

What are you drinking tonight Ixion?

[Ixion]

That's very good of you. I'll have a Speights thanks. Seeing as you're not actually here, I'll have it next time I see you.

[MidnightMike]

How tall are you and how much to you weigh? *( this will affect what i suggest )

[Ixion]

5'9" and about 95kg.

[MidnightMike]

You want a mountain bike, id say with at least 21 gears, front suspension, aluminium frame, etc. Just say that to someone in a bike shop and they will steer you in the right direction.

[twinkle]

Don't get ANY suspension. No use at all for road riding. And the only good suspension is expensive suspension.

[James Deuce]

5'9" and about 95kg.

You know how you asked if we were related the other day? Long lost twin who got sent back in time at birth perhaps?

[MidnightMike]

Don't get ANY suspension. No use at all for road riding.

What about wheelies?

[WINJA]

rooting is good exercise , get a hotter wife

[The_Dover]

rooting is good exercise , get a hotter wife

Or borrow someone elses like I did.

[Jamezo]

Or borrow someone elses like I did.

The exercise value of peeking through windows is still the subject of scientific controversy.

[N4CR]

Get a second hand one off trademe or something they are simple so if something breaks can't be hard to fix just make sure cables ain't rusty and sprockets ain't bent. Like my shitter: The black flame 'pedal edition'. (PE)
Had it for 8-10 years now... 18 speed, almost been written off 2x and still goes. Done a few thousand k's on it, got lost in the kaimanua's on it too. And been about a third the way up mt ruapehu hehehe...

Suspension is for pussies in most cases, especially the riding you will be doing, makes it harder to wheelie anyway, stupid stuff unless you really really need it. Only wished I had it a few times when it got particularly fucking arm/leg shakingly-out-of-your-sockets bumpy.

You can pull mean stoppies and decent wheelies on a pushie too

For the record it is a Giant boulder something 300 or so. Never really took notice of that. It has some tubey frame brand name but looks the same as all the other bikes without the stickers... guess it's like an 'LGC TWIN TUBE FRAME' or whatever on the cbr's. They are still slow as fuck.

Check trademe and save some coin, do it the rungi way. You know you want to! Mr Two stroker....
Also don't forget to ask if it has a good powerband before you buy it, some of them are pretty shitty.

[Mr. Peanut]

Too much gas in the tank eh?

Here's some cheap-ass lazy ways of losing weight.

Freeze your nuts off - the colder you are the more energy you have to burn to keep warm.
Don't sit down if you can.
Drink copious amounts of diet coke/soft drink - no sugar and it fills you up.
Eat big fluffy fiberous stuff with not much energy in it - Apples, bran, so on and so forth.
Eat a big breakfast in the morning and try not to eat dinner or late at night.

I used to be 95kg, I'm 80 kg (more muscle though initially went down to 74kg) now.


Exercise is a waste of time

[avgas]

Its the same situation as buying a motorbike. You dont know how they are like untill you ride them.
I would recommend something from one of the big manufaturers (Avanti, GT etc) as this will fuck out slower than other rubbish.
Mountain bike, hardtail, with average decent brand front shocks (rock shox, manatiou, marzocchi etc), Shimano 21 or 24 speed with thumb shifters (grip shifters are dogs), alu (if you like it lite) or chromolly frame (if your scared your going to break it). Those bash-bars/arm rests on the end of the bars are a god send to if you can get them - both road and off road they come in handy.
Brakes : get anything that doesnt rely on a dodge frame thing. V cable brakes, hydralic etc is ok.
Wheels : Lite/strong alloy - decent brand name otherwise the spokes will fuck out.
Tyres: I found that Velicoraptors gave the best 'any condition, any type of riding style', but alot of other tyres out there give good value.
Seat : A good seat is worth the price. Those slim gel ones seem to be the latest good idea so far.

If your really desparate for a bike, i have a old Avanti 'Cuda here that i used to race back in 98 that is sitting here untill i can ride again (damn leg)