Young death - Donations

[Dutchee]

Mr Mears, sorry for your loss.
You have a handsome grandson, who, one day, will want to know about his dad, and that is something to be grateful for.
Sorry to hear about your job, as well. Sounds like a real tough time for you, but hang in there. What sort of work did you do?
Again, condolences.
Not really sure what to write, without sounding either condescending or insincere.
Welcome to KB, though (wish it were under better circumstances).
Michelle

[caseye]

Welcome again to KB, and thanks for letting us know that there is someone else watching this thread eveyday who is as sad and concerned as we are for Anika and Connor.
I have three teenage daughters, I don't know if I could cope with losing anyone of them, I salute your fortitude and strength in being able to read this thread everyday, it must hurt.
Please accept our collective good wishes for youself and now that you;ve said hello and come into this thread, please accpet our freindship and support for yourself also.
Anika hasn't been on for a day or two, but all things considered I'm not worreid about that, I believe she will be doing what is necessary to keep herself and Connor going throughout the days ahead.
The support lent here to Anika is now also lent to you, don't hesitate to say whats on your mind and never, don't ask, if it can be done it will be, there are people here willing and able to help out in any way needed.

[alexm]

Hi Caseye, I do check this thread everyday too..Even if I don't post anything up,its nice to know there are people out there who care at a time when I feel so alone..I went into Alex's work yesterday and it felt so strange driving there without him (he lost his licence for 3 months not so long ago and I drove him there everyday) and felt so weird to be visiting when he wasn't there. Last time I went there when Connor was 6 weeks old and Alex loved showing him off, he was such a proud dad. So yea I still read all your guys posts, and thank you, but I am trying not to post up what I'm feeling anymore for a few reasons; fear of beig judged by those who don't understand, appearing to be a sefish mother, and mainly because most of my thoughts are pretty bad right now and I don't want the police to be rung again..All I'll say is I can't believe I've gone 6 weeks without seeing my love, I miss him so badly and ache for him,especially at night and can't sleep without him. I have nightmares about what happened all the time and I can't look at Connor smiling and feel happiness, only cry that Alex isn't here to see it..The only thing that makes me happy is that when I show Connor Alex's photo, (I got a big one printed off for Connor to look at, I show it to him throughout the day) Connor gets a huge grin on his face and I just hope in some way he remembers his father who loved him so much and would be doing a much btter job than I am

[spookytooth]

Bringing up kids and going thru the shit feelings you are feel is fucking hard,been there done that.Wish i could give you some sort of advise,but i know only time and lots of it will ever heal or ease the pain.Post up anything you like if it helps you get thru and stuff any one who dissaproves

[PrincessBandit]

Hi Caseye, I do check this thread everyday too........
The only thing that makes me happy is that when I show Connor Alex's photo, (I got a big one printed off for Connor to look at, I show it to him throughout the day) Connor gets a huge grin on his face and I just hope in some way he remembers his father who loved him so much and would be doing a much btter job than I am

Oh Anika, it is good to hear that you are able to show your wee fellow his dad, and to see him respond to Alex's photo.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing a wonderful job whether you feel it or not. Remind yourself too that if the situation had been reversed and Alex was looking after Connor without you I'm sure he would feel exactly the same way as you do now - completely devastated, and that you, Connor's mummy, would be doing a much better job that he was.

You have nothing to put yourself down about.

[caseye]

Doing a bad job????Absolutely not Anika, you are here and Connor knows his dad , now and forever.Couldn't be doing a better job than that .
You must not let what a sad few say upset you particularly here.We/I have encouraged you to let it all hang out in these pages.Far as I'm concerned this thread is for you! first and foremost, we here know you are dealing with heaps of shit all day every day, but we also know that Connor is with you and being well looked after despite everything else that you still have to deal with.
So for the rest of today Anika you take some time out for yourself, you read our posts to you and Connor and Alex's dad and you are allowed to smile if we make mistakes, but remember this.
Like you we are only human, no one here, that has been here the whole way, is going to deliberately say anything to upset, hurt or offend you.
You truely are doing as well as anyone has a right to expect of you under the circumstances.
We're here girl now and for as long as you want us to be.
Take care out there.
Mark.
PS: say whatever you want here it's our rules no one elses!

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Morning Anika

Love this is your thread to say what you want and if there is a post that upsets you ask to have it removed by one of the moderators and if people don't like what they are reading then they can move on.

Anika you are allowed to have those feeling i would think it would be exspected not wanted but exspected give yourself a because you deserve it. I know if anything happened to pete i would be feeling the same as you. But the more you let it out the better you will feel holding it in is not good. You are allowed to cry,be sad,be angry it is all a part of the healing process and you are doing a brillant job with connor and showing him his dad and we all know that you love connor deeply.

I would still like to come and take you and connor out for a coffie so when you are ready let know.

Take care

Wendy

[caseye]

Good morning Anika, I'm off to work soon, but just wanted to say, chin up girly. The weatehrs shite and work sucks but sometime tonight I'll be back here and looking to see if you've dropped us a line.Take care out there and please give that little guy a big hug from us here, aye.

[DreamRunner]

Hey Anika,

Hope you're doing alright today. Hang in there!
Honestly, don't listen to what those people are saying. You're doing a fantastic job as a mother and you're certainly not being selfish. There's no way in heck I'd be able to look after a kid on my own! Jeez, I'd have no idea what to feed it or when or anything... Point being, you're doing amazingly so try not to put yourself down. Keep going strong and don't give up. You may not have Alex but you do have a whole lot of other people around you who want to help Everyone's pretty much already said what I would've said. Keep being an awesome Mum to Connor and don't be afraid to speak your mind. Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Keep holding on.

DreamRunner

[Mrs Busa Pete]

Good morning Anika hope you had a good day yesterday and that to day will be that little bit better.

I'm off to jenny today for a weigh in so i'm hoping iv'e lost something even 500grm will be good.

I see someone has moved into your House through the week i think just let me know if you want me to stop and just check if there is any mail there for you.

Have a nice day and take care

Wendy

[Genestho]

Hey! I hope everyone can feel the sun today. Let it warm your souls.
Have a good day

[alexm]

Hi Wendy,
Yea someone did move into "our" house really loved it there and our new life together there, such a nice place to bring up your children..but I know I would have never been able to stay there it was too painful. Got a guy from the serious crash unit coming tomorrow to tell me everything they've found out so far..I know I'm gonna end up crying hearing about it but I need to know

[GOONR]

Hi Wendy,
Yea someone did move into "our" house really loved it there and our new life together there, such a nice place to bring up your children..but I know I would have never been able to stay there it was too painful. Got a guy from the serious crash unit coming tomorrow to tell me everything they've found out so far..I know I'm gonna end up crying hearing about it but I need to know

Hi Anika,

Tomorrow sounds like it's going to be a tough day for you. You may find it a little easier if someone else is with you, I know I would but that is your choice, your decision. I'm sure that there are many people here that have offered support that would not hesitate to be there if you want.

I will be thinking of you and I hope it's not to difficult.

Take care.

[Dutchee]

Best wishes for tomorrow Anika. We'll all be thinking of you.
Hope it helps in some way with the closure you're needing and looking for.
Hope you've got someone with you and someone who can take little Connor off your hands for a while if needed.
Bawl your eyes out and don't worry about it.
We're with you in spirit.
Michelle

[caseye]

Hey Anika, finally aye, they take their time those boys. As TGW and the others have said, hope it helps you to get a little closer to understanding what happened.
I'm sure if you wanted someone with you tomorrow that by now you'd have made some arrangements but if not please, don't hesitate to call one of the guys or girls here, remember we're here for Anika first.
I'm not going to say, have a nice daytomorrow, sun shining or not it's going to be petty sombre tough sort of a day for you.Once again though, theres a whole bunch of support , ready able and willing, out here for you, so take it one step at a time and ask as many questions as you want, the SCU are damn fine people, they'll do their level best to answer everything as clearly as possible, with a minimum of fuss and bother.
Take care and when your'e up to it, come let us know how you are tomorrow sometime.
As always a big hug for Connor and as many good wishes as his mum can handle.